Monday, August 16, 2010

Top 10 Careers I would have if I didn't have this one.

Don't get me wrong.  I love my job.  really I do.  It's just the right amount of challenge, stress and camaraderie that is what you want in a career.  But as good as your job is, don't you look back on your life and wonder...what if I had become a _________?

When my job gets tough, I certainly do think about the other careers that I wanted to get into instead of the one that chose me.  Of course there are many jobs that I thought about as a kid that I come back to in times of stress.  Without further ado, here they are.

10.  Writer - There are a lot of people that think about writing.  I must since I write this blog twice a month.  The truth is, in order to be a successful writer, you probably need to have a story to tell.  Ok, I have that.  You also need a bunch of time set aside to write said story.  Ok, I suppose I could scrape that together.  Finally, you need to have the discipline to actually write the book.  That's where I fall down.  You see, I have a couple of good story lines for books, but I just don't have the gumption to actually put pen to paper.  At this point, the only reason I would write them is for me, but at least that's something.  Also,  After sampling what passes for comedy on most of the tv stations, I've decided that I could do that well.  Of course it's easy to armchair quarterback something like a sitcom, but really some of the crap that passes for comedy these days, it's surprising we aren't all watching the test signal.

9.  Vocal Talent - Much of the money without the annoying paparazzi and all I'd have to do is talk?  wow, that sounds great.  Actually I do it now.  The problem is, the money and the consistency of work.  You see, I've found that I've grown accustomed to a regular check and as such I would not be able to sustain the life of vocal talent.  The problem is, there is no shortage of people that can read and of those people many of them have fairly pleasing voices.  This makes the supply MUCH larger than the demand and as a result, it's hard to find enough work so that you would want to actually transform it into a career.

8.  Ride operator at an amusement park - I think this one is more the job I wanted when I was 16 or so. This doesn't sound glamorous and I know I would probably get tired of it quickly, but I would love to work at Disney or the like.  'Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, have a good trip!' It would seem to loose it's magic after about the 500'th time or so, but I feel I could make a go of it.  Plus I might get to do the Jungle Cruise.  That is an awesome ride for the cast member!  You get to have a captive audience for 5 minutes and they really want to find you amusing.  How could it get any better?!  The down side is I probably would end up working at Lagoon.  ick.  I would rather be a state fair fried butter vendor. 

7.  Casino Dealer - Just for once, I'd like to be on the winning side of the cards.  At least if I'm losing, I'll get tipped! Imagine, you get to play a game for several hours and then you go home.  Some people get obnoxious with you, that's ok, thats what the security folks are for.  Other people try to get on your 'good side' like it mattered.  So you commiserate with the losers, congratulate the winners and keep your hands per hour number humming.

6. Candy Store owner - I would really like to own a candy store.  I like being the boss, I like candy.  How could I go wrong?  For some time I did run a candy store that consisted of a rickety cart that I loaded with different candies etc.  It used the honor system and it annoyed my co-workers, but It was cool to have and I really liked running it.  I got very good at figuring out what candy would sell and why. I don't do it anymore, but it really seems like an easy way to make money.  Location is of course the secret there.

5.  Psychic - I do this on an amateur basis, I don't believe in it, but it comes fairly easily to me.   I won't give away all the secrets but suffice it to say, people can't see into the future etc.  It's fun to do anyway though.  You get to tell people what they would like to hear and seem really mystic and stuff.  For what they accomplish, your standard psychic makes amazingly good money.  You want to have a load of fun at your next party, hire a psychic, It will be memorable. 

4.  Independent wealth - Ok I know this isn't a job, but I feel like I would really be good at being rich.  Well, actually, not really.  If I were really rich, I would very likely blow my money in some very bad directions.  Maybe it's best I'm not rich.  Rats, I just looked at my salary v.s. the world population and I AM rich.  It's not nearly as great as I thought.

3.  Entourage Hanger on - You know these guys.  They are the friends of people that have real talent that ride on their coat tails.  They have no real ambition or talent themselves other than to grease up the real guy making the money.  They hang around and get dry-cleaning and maybe play some video games or tell people they know the famous person they are hanging around with.  Pretty sweet gig.  Till the well runs dry that is.  I guess you have to know someone famous first.  I saw Charlotte Rae in an airport on my way to a flight, does that count?  She didn't think so either.

2.  Secret Agent - Bond...James Bond.  I would LOVE to be a secret agent.  Not the real kind that get deported or killed, but more like the James Bond kind that can drive any vehicle known to man.  Is as obvious as a Neon sign, and can make any bet in the Casino and it always comes up good for him.  Who wouldn't want that job?  I've heard that actual jobs in the CIA or Military Intelligence actually takes a LOT of disappointing desk work as well as some very unglamorous reporting and meetings o pleanty as well.  Sheesh, I can already get that in my current job.

1.  Radio Personality - Once again, a job that I have some familiarity with and one that pays far to little to be practical.  But it would be fun to just yammer on about what I'm thinking about to all my listeners.  As soon as I got tired of talking, I could play some more music.  Once again, this job has some problems because it's not nearly as fun is it used to be say 30 years ago or so.  Now days, it seems you say anything as a personality and your as likely to get fired just because it offended someone.

Well, these are the other jobs I probably won't have any time in the near future, but a guy can always dream, can't he?

1 comment:

swampthings said...

Don't be afraid to be part of the dark side of lagoon: .

Excellent blog!