Friday, July 1, 2011

Top 10 scheister jobs

Economy's still tough.  We hear that it's getting better.  This is a lot like hearing from your teen aged son that he's getting a D+ up from an F and you say 'Hey! Good Job!'.  The prelude to that story tells itself and it's a sad tale indeed.  So you still don't have work?  Well have you tried just giving up?  While you might need some extra cash, you can try these time honored traditions in separating money from fools.  No, it's not real or honorable work, but think of it as a last resort list.

10. Will Work for food - You hold up a sign that says you will work for food.  Of course you don't really want to WORK and you likely don't care about the FOOD either.  So the translation of this sign should be Will LOITER for MONEY.

9.  Busking - This is an actual bunch of hard work for the money.  It's one step up from begging but twice as hard as actual performing.  You come up with an act of some sort and you keep doing it over and over for whoever will watch.  You provide a hat or a basket or something that people will put money in for their appreciation of the performance.  It is usually with an instrument, but sometimes it's just someone in a goofy costume or a mime or a dancer.  If you do it with a group and you aren't the best one, you won't make much.  If you do it alone, people might not be inclined to give.

8.  3-card monte - sure it's against the law but you are out of work and that should be against the law right?  (don't answer that).  Also known as the shell game, there is a lot of variants but the point is this.  a man throws 3 cards down on the table 2 are aces and one is a queen.  follow the queen as the man throws the cards around.  When he is done, you put your money in front of the card that has the queen.  Then the man turns them over.  if you are in front of the queen, you double your money.  The guy running the scam has an accomplice in the crowd that bets a few times and wins and then goes his way.  The first time he bets small and wins, the second time he bets big and wins big.  If people bet with him, he loses big.  Of course he's in on the game.  If you put your money on the table you will not win.  Don't even try.  If you are on the dealer side of the table, you may win and at least you aren't dealing drugs or any number of things that are more harmful and illegal.

7.  Recycle! - Collect all of those cans and bottles and turn em in!  This only works in some states, but I remember as a kid collecting tin cans and submitting them for some change.  It was my first experience with what you could do to make money.  Wherever you are, the rules are different.  some states don't really have much at all going on for a recycling program, other states have it all.  Way to recycle Michigan.  Your name adorns many cans and bottles.

6.  Am I in the control group? - Sometimes you can submit to medical testing for many different things, drugs or treatments.  You never know what it's going to be on the way in, but you'll make a few dollars or a lot of dollars depending on how rare a condition you have to have to qualify for the test.  It's not like the movies, you won't get super powers, and you probably won't have any problems, but they are running the tests to make sure the treatment is effective and make sure that it doesn't react with different physiologies.  On the other hand, you are a human guinea pig.  That's why you get your greens.

5.  I'm stuck here until I can get this car part - This is a twist on the will work for food.  You walk around in a nice suit and look like a business dude.  You tell your targets that you have no cash and your cards aren't working (Identity theft is a good excuse for this).  Then you tell them the part (usually a 40 dollar part) and indicate that any cash will help.  Sometimes you hold out the 25 or so dollars showing that you have almost made your goal like a mini telethon and their donation could help you reach your goal.  If they buy the part for you, terrific, you can return it to the store later and get the full value.  This is more of a con than a scam, and probably illegal, but it is creative.

4.  I need food for my dog! - I witnessed this one personally.  Another will work for food, but you hold on to a dog you got at the animal shelter and tug at the heartstrings of the passers by.  The dog I saw was named Petey.  Poor Petey. Maybe if the guy didn't get enough money to feed Petey, he'd just eat Petey.  I hope he's doing o.k.

3.  Sure I've got blood, Why? - Donating blood!  A time honored fund raising tradition.  Sure you can donate it, but why when you can get paid for it!  It's the only thing that we can donate that we can get paid for.  Everything else we donate has to be done out of the goodness of our kidneys.  But now If you have a posthumous organ donors card, you can get the organ transfer paid for.  Used to be that if you were a donor, your estate would have to pay for the harvesting of your organs.  But not anymore.  I had a friend that donated blood for money to use gambling.  He won.  What's the lesson there?  Only Gamble with money you  can afford to lose.

2.  Search the lottery garbage - I read about this guy that found a big winner ticket in the garbage bin.  That's amazing to me that you could throw away a winning ticket.  Why bother playing if you aren't even going to check the numbers?! 

1.  Try out for Reality TV - Maybe you are good enough to be famous, or bad enough.  Anyway, some of the ones that are bad get record contracts like that William Hung dude.  Talk about falling into money, and for being more fearless than you are tone deaf.  Amazing.

Hopefully work will find you soon, or perhaps a windfall will come your way.


swampthings said...

Very excellent blog! You just keep getting better and better!

Macotar said...

Why thank you! I aim to please