Me and my cold

Well, I've got a cold.

I hate having a cold. The reasons are obvious. but there is a not so obvious reason. I like to think of myself as some kind of mutant. Not one with any kind of great world saving super power, but rather a mutant whose power is to not get sick very often. The truth is I don't. I would say that in my life I've been sick a grand total of 25 times A.T. (After Tonsilectomy at age 10) I'm not impervious to disease, not at all. And I don't count Strep for some reason. If I did count strep It would probably be about 30 times. Every time I have a bad headcold it makes me realize that I don't have any kind of a mutant ability, I just wash my hands a lot, and that's probably what does it. It's kind of a personal disappointment.

There are 3 stages to having a bad cold.

Stage 1: Denial

You don't actually believe you will get sick. You can feel your throat getting sore, and you call it a 'tickle' and you figure 'I'll just get to be early and that will kick it' Or better yet, you drink a boatload of orange juice or take some kind of herbal crap that your crazy aunt recommends. This is the same crazy aunt that you would no sooner listen to for any kind of life advice as you would give her all of your money to invest, but when you sense yourself getting sick, you start to cast about. It is the most important thing in this stage to completely deny that you are getting sick. If you admit that you are getting sick, the virus will hear you and know that your defenses are about to fall.

Stage 2: Acceptance

You know that you've accepted the fact that you're sick because you wonder if you will ever feel normal again. You think to yourself 'You people should be thankful for your health!" as you check yourself in to the leper colony. Now that you are actually sick, you are going to make the best of it. You go to the store and buy a cold remedy that you've actually already bought the last time you were sick and it didn't work. You don't buy herbal remedy's or any of that other quackery, they have generics, but you don't buy those. Those are the things you buy when your kids are sick because you know they are faking it anyway. This is you. You will take this remedy and it will actually make you feel worse and you will store it in the bathroom next to the other remedy that didn't work before. You exaggerate the effects of your illness in order to avoid any activity that you don't want to take part in. Top of this list of course is Church, some are honest about it and just say they don't want to go, others will take the high road and say that they don't 'want to infect the faithful' The truth is, if you could miraculously transfer your cold to one of those babbling snake charmers you would. But there is more. Family get togethers with the 'wrong' side of the family. Answering the phone. or any other household chore you never liked doing much in the first place or social obligation that you'd rather not attend. Notice that I didn't say take off work. This doesn't occur in this stage. People would rather die than use sick leave when they are actually sick.

Stage 3: Extension

You're on the mend! yay! You've dug through and you're finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. You still sleep on one side or the other to drain your sinus and you refresh your tissue supply in your car and next to your bed. Still, you feel like you're getting better.
You still use your illness as and excuses to avoid unpleasant events, but now you find yourself imitating yourself when you were really sick in order to be more convincing. NOW is the time you use sick time. You feel well enough to take a bit of vacation and so you do. Someone needs to pay for this hell-spawn virus, and who better than your employer. After all, it was probably someone at work that gave it to you in the first place. Now you are in a special club. You are one of the people that 'already had that' and you can easily identify people that are just starting their journey through this viral adventure. You tell them what they can expect as though they had never been sick before in their lives. You are an old hand. You might even offer them your lame cold remedy that didn't work for you.

I'm just falling out of stage 2 and ready to take my time off ;)

My time in Hell has passed

There are 3 things you have in your life.

1. You (duh)

2. Your Family (You hadta come from somewhere)

3. Your Job

After that you have a pretty random set of spices that makes every life different. If one of those 3 things isn't working right, you're life is not going to be very good. In a recent study, it shows that 70% of people actually like their jobs and therefore are pretty satisfied with their life in general.
I am (or was) not among those people. I really disliked my job intensely. It wasn't the work, it's how it was appreciated. But enough about that griping.

I have a new job! This employer seems to be the exact opposite of my current employer. They are generous and concerned about their employees. They allow opportunity for growth and all that as well as give you free drinks and free lunch once a week. Who can pass that up?! certainly not I. It will be a great new dawn in my career.

Before you naysayers say 'yeah, but the grass is always greener' all I can say to you is 'blarf'. This is a phrase my friend Jason Allen made up and I find it to be quite appropriate in many instances. the combination of blah and barf seems to indicate running off at the mouth in a bad way. Of course no company is perfect, if they were, it wouldn't be work, and they wouldn't pay you. But there are shades of gray. As long as the shade i'm going for is lighter than the one i'm in, i'm all for it.

My biggest problem is the people I'm leaving behind. I feel really bad for them. and a certain few I will miss a great deal. I am hoping very much to get them on where I will be working. I only have to find a spot for them.

SWEET!