Monday, August 31, 2009

Top 10 7 deadly sins

I felt like I was going to die today. Well maybe not completely, but just a little bit. I was sitting at my desk around lunch time and BANG! I got a doozy of a dizzy spell. I don't know about you, but I don't like being dizzy. So I looked it up online (everything you read online is true right?). Apparently I have suffered a stroke or a heart attack...EEEEEEEK!!! Oh wait, when I look a little further down, I see that it could be any number of very much less dire things. 1/2 hour later my balance was intact and I felt much better.

It didn't stop me thinking about my ultimate end however. What if that was it. I'm on my way to meet my maker so to speak. I wonder if you throw away tools or appliances if they go back to the factory that made them...hmmm. Anyhow, I was reflecting on the 7 deadly sins. This list of 7 things that we probably all do, but shouldn't has been around for a long time and was originally called the Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins. They didn't really become deadly until the monk Evagrius Ponticus put quill to paper and really gave them a good going over. So lets get started with my top 10 7 deadly sins.

1. Sloth - I originally figured that this particular sin was just being a slob. That's really only part of it. It encompasses any time you are not using your talents and gifts as well as being indifferent to important work at hand. By this definition, any teenager and most adults these days are constantly engaging in this sin. Why is it deadly? I guess if you were drowning and you didn't really care about it...glug. There you have it.

2. Greed - Avarice, the desire for more money, possessions and power. One of the better known of the deadly brothers Greed is often accused by those with less for those with more. If we have plenty but constantly want more, how can we ever be happy? Short answer is, we can't. Why deadly? The desire for more stuff means you gotta get more money. If you gotta get more money, then you are either going to do something illegal, or work yourself to death. Either way, you are taking the dirt nap at the end.

3. Gluttony - Close relative of Greed, Gluttony is the actual consumption of your possessions. Over consumption of anything, not just food and you are a gluttonous guy. We really associate this with being fat. Obviously if you are large and in charge, you are gluttonous by your nature. Not so? But can we not also partake of Gluttony by overindulgence in anything? This is an interesting sin because it is deadly because of it's very nature. The only reason we are gluttonous is because we hunger. we hunger because we require food based on our mortality. If we were immortal, we would likely not need food and would therefore not suffer from gluttony. After all, if you have an infinite amount of everything, why would you want more?

4. Envy - This is the other side of greed. Good old envy. The GREEN sin. Dante put this sin the best and I think it's particularly applicable today (along with greed) ; "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." It's not enough that you must have more, but your rivals must have less. So envy really could be considered greed +. You know you're suffering from envy when you hear that goofball down the hall got a raise and it just ruins your day.

5. Pride - huberis. the lifting up of ones self. This is really the root of nearly all of the other deadly sins and this one is the deadliest. It's worse than a snakebite because when you are caught in it's throes, there is no advice good enough for you to take and no action brazen enough for you to appologise for. Everything you do is right and the rest of the world is populated with idiots. You are simply possessed of the misfortune of being the singular anomoly of this hairless bunch of misfit apes to realize just how poor off the rest of humanity really is. Pride goeth before the fall. I suppose that makes Pride a summertime sin. sorry.

6. Lust - I'll gloss over this particular sin since I have decided to make this a family blog. Suffice it to say if you look once and avoid, you are a saint. if you look once and enjoy, you are a human, and if you stand there with your tongue hanging out of your mouth trying to find the words to describe what you would like to do as you gawk unceasingly at the target of your...lust. Congratulations. You are a the rest of us. So I have a question. is it possible to continue the race without lust? I would gather from the female perspective not only is it possible, but sometimes proscribed. The male counterpart on the other hand requires a certain state of being in order to continue this human race. If you take lust out of the equation. I'm pretty sure you can take everything else out of the equation including survival. So this one it a deadly if you do, deadly if you don't kind of deal. But I'm not really worried about the human race going extinct. 6 billion people and counting can't be wrong.

7. Wrath - The acting out of your rage or hatred. This sin is pretty closely related to pride (as most are) but this is when your rage or hatred actually find form in real life. Nobody likes being around a very mad person. It shows a distinct lack of control. People start stepping around you quietly because they think you might be a bomb ready to go off. If you suffer from this sin, you probably know who you are. You see people treating you like a mental patient. talking slowly and quietly all the while backing away to the nearest exit. Nobody likes wrath. Just ask the Philistines. They suffered the Wrath of God. Apparently if he's the one doing it, its not a sin.

The next 3 are my own additions to the deadly list. after all, I've got 10 spaces to fill here.

8. Frustration - Next door neighbor to and the constant straight man to wrath, Frustration is what happens when you can't think of any more options and you get mad. Probably mad enough to experience wrath but not quite. You can stop with frustration, but you probably won't. It is what will make you key that guys car, or act passive agressive enough to not let your co-worker get the job done that they want. It may not be deadly, but it will make you snap at your boss and ultimately get yourself sacked.

9. Control - This is most certainly a deadly sin. Not self-control, everyone knows that is a Virtue (no I haven't written that list yet, but it's coming). But the desire to control others. This sin is usually exhibited by parents of late teens and sometimes children in their 20's. Also displayed by overly ambitious middle management, Control manifests itself in the tireless nagging or threatening of subordinates in what is usually termed micromanagement. The problem is control is illusory at best and yet they still try. People that require the compliance of others in order to sate their desire for control are certainly in danger of a premature heart condition.

10. Socially Obtuse - This is a social sin. If you don't know when to laugh at a joke, or laugh too loud at a joke or tell the WRONG joke (you know who you are) then you may suffer from this sin. The problem is, there may be no way to break you of this sin. You will only know that you are 'sinning' when the room clears as you enter. That's when you know that you are likely socially obtuse. The good news is, that you can hang out with other socially obtuse people and they won't mind at all. If you don't like the words socially obtuse, try this...ASS. Seems it's a part of the condition that you can't see it in others either. They are easy to spot, they are the ones breaking wind loudly at a funeral and snickering.

Well, there it is. A fortnight later and I will try again, hopefully with a little more success.

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