Wednesday, June 1, 2011

10 indicators that you probably shouldn't gamble.

I've written blogs about gambling before.  I love it.  It's a lot of fun and the only form of entertainment where you have a chance of coming home with more money than you started with.  You probably won't, but at least there is a chance.

Over the past few trips to my favorite gaming establishments I've realized that there are times when I (or anyone else) should simply not gamble.

10.  You don't suffer fools well - Most gambling is a social event.  You go with friends to make some wagers and laugh at loosing and cheer at winning.  But if you gamble at all, you have had the experience of seeing that person wander to the table not knowing what they are doing and they are probably inebriated.  This person starts to gamble and starts getting louder and more obnoxious.  You start wishing for their financial demise, if not for the loss of their glittering conversation, then for the loss of the flowery bouquet of their aroma.  At that point, you will find that that person will win and win and win.   Probably making the dumbest mistakes in the game but then winning despite their ignorance.  You hope even more that this putz will burn out.  Nope, it doesn't happen.  When you truly wish for someone to loose, you will find that it's really not any fun.  You should pick up and move away.  Don't go somewhere else and start gambling!  Take a break, just stop.  You start up again and if you start losing, you will blame your drunken acquaintance and you won't shake the bad feeling and that is not what you are there for.  Give it a rest, come back fresh and start over.

9.  You think the universe might have it in for you - This isn't just gambling, this is life.  There are those that think the glass is half empty.  Others think the glass is half full.  As for myself, I think that the glass is the wrong size.  If you believe you are an unlucky person, you will focus on your losses and assume that you are not lucky.  If you believe you are lucky, you will focus on your wins and wonder why you don't have more money ;).  If you think that your Karma is such that you don't deserve to win, you are right, you don't.  Just stop right now.

8.  You are good at math. - If you are at all good at math, you can figure out what the actual odds are of winning any of the individual games v.s. what they are actually paying you.  You'll quickly find that there are no odds in the casino that are in your favor.  There is one bet that is NOT in the houses favor, but it requires a bet that is.  It's the Free Odds in Craps.  The more you play on free odds only, the more slowly you give the house your money.  So what keeps people coming?  The fact that those odds are calculated over the long term.  In the short term, you can win.  People come home with those stories all the time.  They don't tell you much about the rest of the times.

7.  You are already in debt - Ok, so you are in the hole.  If you are in Hollywood, you desperately bet what you have left on a horse whose name you saw in a hymnal at church the prior Sunday.  Since this is obviously a sign from heaven, you feel like you just have to take the opportunity.  If you're still in the movie, you're going to win.  If you are in real life, maybe you will win.  But you are in debt!  you don't have money to RISK on a bad return.  Don't go anywhere near a casino if you have bills to pay off.  Besides.  Gambling is no fun if you are worried about every dollar you have out.

6.  You HATE to loose. - Ok, nobody likes to loose.  But some people don't mind losing much.  I take a pretty broad look at gambling.  I've had times where I've been really mad about losing but came home with 50 dollars ahead.  I had won 300 early in the night and lost it during the rest of the night.  I really didn't like that.  I came home even once and it was one of the best times I'd had.  I lost 80 dollars and had one dollar in change left in my pocket.  I won 5 dollars on a pull on a slot machine.  and the rest of the night clawed my way back to even.  I was thrilled.  Also.  Anyone that says you are getting money without earning it really hasn't gambled much.  Any money you can get away with from a casino is pretty rare.  If you just can't stand the thought of losing games you are designed to loose, you probably shouldn't play.

5.  You HATE to see others win more than you - One of the strange factors of luck is if you are with someone that seems to always win.  You don't understand it, but they just do.  It's like they fall bass-ackwards into the pot of gold and you couldn't find lucky with a leash and a dog whistle.  If you gamble with this person.  You will loose and that person will win.  If you are with a friend you really think could use an extra buck etc.  That person will loose and you may win.  You think this makes no sense or isn't true?  You haven't been gambling.  It is this bit of superstition that rears it's ugly head when you hear the tale of the father that takes his son to the door of the casino and says 'son I'll give you this dollar, or I'll put it in that slot machine over there and you could win more.'  After thinking it over the boy decides to take the risk and the father then proceeds to put the dollar in the slot and win thus foiling his life lesson.  It makes superstitious fools of us all.

4.  You prefer goods and services to entertainment. - The ONLY way I look at gambling anymore is that I'm being entertained.  I feel like it's the only form of entertainment where I might actually come home with more money in my pocked than I left.  Let's see you do THAT with a night at Turn off the Dark.  If you really need to feel that you've gotten something in exchange for your money, then don't gamble.  It will never feel worth it.

3.  You have a healthy sense of self loathing. -  I've seen some people keep on risking more and more even though they EXPECT to loose.  They aren't winning and they don't have any expectations to do so yet they keep going.  They are just punishing themselves.  That's it.  If you want to feel punished.  get on a good losing streak with a healthy dose of sleep deprivation.

2.  You really can't stand buffet food. - Gambling and all you can eat buffet go together like Family Reunions and Salmonella.  Buffets can be found at most casinos and are often given as a comp or a come on for frequent players.  Lots of people like buffets.  If you aren't one of those people, you will probably not enjoy some of the trappings of gambling.

1.  You just don't feel lucky. - There is nothing like feeling unlucky.  It's like you are a Svengali in reverse.  You can tell that whatever you do, you will be on the losing end of things.  Now, just a note, Dice and cards don't know who you are or how much you do or don't deserve to win money.  They don't know when you are going to break even or if you are on a 'streak'.  You on the other hand will link events together and assign some kind of interpretation to them and assume that they in turn link to some other event that determines if you deserve to win or not.  I can't change this.  It's what we do best as humans and it's what's responsible for some of our greatest achievements.  Just remember.  If you feel unlucky, you are.  So stop until you feel lucky or at least neutral.  You'll save yourself a couple of dollars.

There we are.  It's summer time.  Time for you to go out and get a vacation.  I suspect that where Gas prices are now it could be a Vacation fairly close to home.  See ya in 15 or so. (tell your friends, subscribe, thanks!)

1 comment:

swampthings said...

I'm not plagued by 60% of these. I think the odds are in my favor. Wendover, here I come!