Thursday, December 1, 2011

10 ways to utilize pancakes

I'm not a fan of Pancakes.  I am, on the other hand, a fan of crepes.  Pretentious?  possibly.  Elitist? Maybe.  For some reason I just don't like how puffy Pancakes are.  I can't eat more than 2.  Crepes on the other hand I could eat for a really long time.  YUMMMMM.  They are the same you say?  Clearly not.  But I don't mean to malign the poor pancake.  There are many uses for them.  Wait, I've got 10 right here!

10.  Concrete patch.  -  Yeah, the weather can be trouble.  Especially when you are in a temperate zone.  All that hot and cold going on really plays hob with the concrete and asphalt.  It's only a matter of time before potholes show up.  Whip up a batch of Pancakes and Bingo!  Smooooooth Drivin.

9.  Frisbee - How could this not happen?  Easy to throw, easy to catch, doesn't hurt if you miss and it hits you in the head.

8.  Simulated Eclipse - Hold up that bready breakfast against the sun and you can see the corona.  Perfect for picture taking.  Afterward add maple syrup and your corona block becomes a filling snack.

7.  Movie Manhole Cover - Remember in Superman II?  Those wierd disco clad goons from the negative zone broke out (thanks to an errant nuclear blast) to terrorize earth?  In one scene the bad chick (Ursula) chucked a manhole cover at Supes (The Late Christopher Reeves) and he got plowed.  Of course that cover wasn't real.  It was probably Styrofoam.  Well, pancakes are more biodegradable.

6. Invading Pancakes! - Speaking of movies.  apparently MOST sightings of UFO phenomenon are in fact linked to fraud.  GASP!  I really find that hard to believe.  But if you want to pile on.  Spray paint a pancake silver and chuck it while your friend takes a few pictures.  It will be so organic looking that all the fancy computerized analysis will not know what to think!  Congratulations, you have perpetrated the first flapjack based fraud.

5. Oil Spill?  No Problem - Have you noticed that pancakes don't let syrup pour over it until it is completely saturated?  I rest my case.  Those pancakes on TV don't count.  A.  that's not really syrup, B. Those aren't really pancakes. 

4. Coasters! - Unsightly rings on that coffee table be gone!  whip up a batch of smallish pancakes and laminate em! Well I'm sure you could make something like that out of some resin.  But in a pinch...maybe?  I guess not.

3.Cheap dinner meal.  -  So you've got a bunch of people coming over?  Whip up a batch of pancakes and bang.  They will be full in moments and you will not have to part with much green.  Unless of course you are offering REAL maple syrup.  YIKES that is some expensive stuff.  Of course you could just go with the traditional pancake for!

2. Makeup for those fearing age.  - Everyone talks about pancake makeup.  I've never actually been exposed to much makeup.  So after doing some research, a pancake makeup is a foundation that covers like a coat of paint and is used for covering blemishes and more importantly Tattoos!  consequently it is completely NOT edible. 

1.  A serving plate for Bacon - Bacon is one of the great meats ever to be found in nature.  I'll probably come up with a bacon themed blog.  Many times pancakes are the bridesmaid to this meaty bride, and ever would it be so.  so how about a plate that looks like a pancake that you put your bacon on?  Perfect.

It has become obvious that this blog is getting harder to write.

See ya in 15.

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