Friday, June 1, 2012

10 Cliche's of Graduation

It's the season of Graduation and Fathers Day.  Since fathers day is the most worthless holiday since Arbor day   (This is evidenced by the fact that many stores just call it Dad's and Grads sales since they really don't care what you are celebrating, just please buy something) We'll just concentrate on Graduation.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my dad, and I hope my kids love me, but the day is just goofy and I wouldn't mind if it stopped all together.


This is the list of things you will probably hear during the course or your commencement from high school, or college, or any other 'Education'.  This is the reward/celebration for all of your time/money/work??  A couple of students and a few hoity toity school administrators bloviating about the value of what you have just accomplished.  Why do they feel like they need to convince you?  Anyway.  The following is what you are likely to hear in any given graduation address.  It will be much quicker than the actual graduation and as always...there are pictures!

10.  You are the future! - Aren't we all?  some are more future than the others, but really whoever was the first to tell graduating students that they are the future probably felt pretty good about him/her self.  Of course they probably really enjoyed the cave paintings they put up the other day as well.

9.  Your education is just beginning - Then what did I just pay you a kings ransom for?  I understand that it's a good idea to keep learning, but I can do that for free...ohhhhhhh!  For some reason it's a mainstay in windy summer speaches.

8.  You have a responsibility - Well, Spiderman had a responsibility.  Because he had great power.  I've got a diploma.  My responsibility is different.  I have to pay off that student loan or at least get a job.  Along with this one is the Give Back.  I've never quite understood this.  Why not become successful and give back that way.  People that are successful can't help but give back because you can't be a success alone.

7. You did it!  -  Usually said by one of the student speakers.  This exclamation is universally heartfelt if said by the student and kind of condescending when said by the administration since they see this every year.

6.  Best and Brightest - This phrase is used often by the academic set to describe themselves.  They are then including the current set of fresh acolytes in this sanctum of the smart.

5. You've got education, now get experience - They know what you are going to know.  Education without experience is like paint without a brush.  It is very effective, but has little application.

4.  I can't believe it! - This is said in the same way as You did it!  Almost exclusively the domain of the student speaker this is one of those exclamations that a lot of people say at the end of something that is long and hard, but certainly possible.  Believe it!

3.  Don't waste your opportunity - This bit of inspirational fluff is really about making you feel guilty now that you have free time.  Maybe you should go for another advanced degree!  Don't you feel guilty about playing that video game?  hmmmmm?

2.  Live your dreams - Believe me, I've been trying.  But creating a sea going vessel large enough that could employ a whale as a means of propulsion is not as easy as you might think.

1.  Believe in yourself - Because if you don't, you might not exist.  Yeah I know.  Believe that you can do things because if you don't believe it, you won't even try.  I've never really been able to live this particular axiom. I've found that just because you believe you can do something does not at all mean you are able to do it.

Congratulations to all those that commence their journey downs life's road.  May it lead you to contentment and happiness and further episodes of my blog.

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