Saturday, September 1, 2012

10 common abilities and the comic book abilities they are like

We have all kinds of super hero movies these days.  Personally I love em.  The idea that you can have powers that set you apart from the rest of humanity is a lot of fun.  Of course in real life, if you had powers you wouldn't want them for more than a month, and if you did, you wouldn't be using them for good.  Well, we already have super powers.  It all depends on context.  After all, Superman isn't all that super back on Krypton.  He's regular-man.

Here are some semi-super powers you might already have.

10. Having a cellphone - Speed - not long ago, your life was complicated by getting to places on time.  These days it's not really as urgent as all that since you can call ahead and mention that you will be late.  This is all evidenced by movies that include a lack of communication as a plot complication.  Gotta get to X to warn the innocent people that a bomb will be going off at Y oclock.  Now, you can call someone from nearly anywhere.  It's like you are the FLASH.  Everywhere all the time.

9. Lawyer - Invisibility, Shields - The right Lawyer in criminal Law can make even the most convincing evidence invisible to the case.  They of course can extend their law shields to protect you against the most harsh legal attacks.  Sue Richards of the Fantastic Four could go invisible and later, because going invisible really isn't a terrific power to have unless you want to be a bad guy, they gave her shields that she could use in various ways to help the team.  Lawyers seem to always be using invisibility and shielding to their advantage.

8. Doctor - Healing - In the super hero realm.  The ability to heal themselves and others makes you pretty popular on any team-up project.  It keeps everyone going for much longer in the fight than they could normally.  Most comic book heros only have self healing abilities.  Well, A doctor can do that AS WELL as heal others.  Take THAT Wolverine!

7. Computer Geek - Telepathy - I realized this while I was helping my mom with some computer issues over the phone.  It was very similar to nearly every support call I've ever had the pleasure to take.  You are suddenly asked and expected to understand and know what is showing on your customer's screen at any point in time.  In true psychic form you will predict what will happen after a sequence of keystrokes and mouse clicks:

...O.k. when you click that button, a pop up screen will show up.  That's normal...'I didn't get a pop up screen, I got a balloon or something that made a pop sound'...No, you're clicking on the lower right part of your screen, move your mouse away from that...'How did you know?'...Well because...It doesn't matter.  Now go to the OTHER button and click on it...'  

This makes you both Telepathic and Clairvoyant.  Impressive indeed.

6. Video Games - Time Travel (Forward Only) - This is not a super power as much as it is an effect.  You find a game that completely consumes you.  Perhaps Skyrim for example.  You then play until say midnight.  Now you'll just continue to play until you gain one more skill level.  ZAP!!!  You have time traveled nearly 8 hours ahead in time.  Things are so different they enjoy the same kinds of things?  Have they cured cancer?  Do they all wear tin foil clothes?  Those questions aren't nearly as important as the question 'how am I going to make up for all of my lost sleep?'.

5. Your kids facebook account - Xray vision - How do they know??!?  How can they tell?!?  When you have access to or are unrestricted friends with your kid.  You suddenly have xray vision into their most private moments!  It's amazing!  They don't realize or care that they are being monitored.  Just don't abuse it or they may search for some kind of internet lead to put in your way of your x-ray vision.

4. Some Money - molecular manipulation - It's amazing.  All you have to do is take these rectangles of paper and give them to someone behind a long table and then you keep the item or good you have purchased.  You have turned mere paper into a groceries, a frosty chocolate shake, or even an IPOD! GASP!  It's amazing.  you can turn plain fibrous wood pulp into nearly anything you want.  OOOOOOH  AAAAAAAH.  Of course you are stuck on the other end of this super power as well.  You provide real work or service and all you get are numbers that someone else holds on to for you that represent the rectangles of paper.  The real magic is in what supports all of this.

3. Having a smart cellphone - Flight - Smart Cellphones have many abilities, but one of the most used functions seems to be using a mapping program on your smartphone while using the GPS located inside.  This gives you a birds eye view of the area around you.  Really, if you had flight what would you do?  You would fly up and look down and see where you are.  You would stop using flight as a means of transportation very quickly after realizing some people seeing you fly would mistake you for some kind of target.

2. Motion Detecting lights - magic - If you ever go into work early or stay after late in a building that was built fairly recently.  You have motion sensors detecting everything.  In cost saving measures, the building people make lights available when they sense movement.  they make water appear out of the tap in the same fashion.  Anyone that see's this from the 1970's would consider this absolute magic.  It would seem that the whole building is bent to your will.  Making things happen for your sole benefit.  And like so many things.  We look at it like it's no big deal.

1. Having a truck - Strength - Gosh, I need to move, who do you call?  The Hulk?  so He could move tons of your stuff to your next dwelling.  Wait a minute.  that might be really damaging to most if not all of your stuff because he has to get really pissed off to be able to do it.  So instead you call 'Buddy with a truck'  yes not as catchy but a lot more available and you can then move without worrying about losing your deposit.

If you are a first time reader.  Welcome.  If you are reading this rag again, Thanks.  Like Box of my stuff on Facebook and 15 Days from now I will use my special super power of looking at obvious things and make another entry.

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