Monday, August 3, 2015

10 Rhymes that might be true, or probably not.

I remember a famous court case that seemed to hinge on the rhyme 'If the glove don't fit, you must acquit'  It wasn't true. In fact the logic there is so hilariously faulty that it's amazing that it got any traction at all.  Yet we find that if there is a rhyme involved then something is probably true.  It makes no sense at all, but people love a good rhyme.  Witches always seem to need a rhyme to get a spell or incantation to work, but only if it's spoken in English.  Latin spells don't seem to need to rhyme.  I'm not sure why.  Anyway,  I decided to come up with some to prove the fact that rhymes are not indicator of truth or anything really except the ability to use words that sound similar.

- If the car won't start, then use a cart - cart makes the rhyme, but honestly a bike is better.

- Kill a fly, thwart a spy. - If that spy happens to be using a robot fly.

- If the food won't heat then eat a beet - I would probably rather eat cold food.

- A friend in need is a friend with weed - Only in Colorado/Washington and honestly if he is in need and with weed, then what he needs is probably a bag of tacos.

- A book not read fills you with dread - I see so many 'bookies'  that have this strange pride in reading.  This is for them.  It's probably true for them, unless of course that book is a compendium of my blog entries.

- Eat a small pie then you won't die - Later found to not be nearly as effective as the apple a day, but better than a large pie I guess.  Neither of these 'miracle' foods will actually keep you from an eventual death.

- give some money to a bum and he'll give you some gum. - no, he won't.

- Fall on a stick, loose blood quick - depending on the angle of the stick when you hit it, this one is actually probably true.

- If your face is on money, then your future is sunny - Not likely, you are already dead.

- Walking a mile will make you smile, if you have to go poo, then try walking 2 - failed exercise motivation at best.

There you go.  Any truth in these rhymes is purely coincidental.  Next time you hear someone using a rhyme in an effort to prove a point just remember 'If he uses a rhyme, he'll take more time'  That one is probably true.

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