10 Things you dread on a vacation

Vacations are fantastic.  Of course I don't have to tell you everyone knows this.  They are the chance you have to get away from your daily grind.  Even if you love your job, you need a break from time to time.  Well often we trade one stress for another when we go on vacation.  These are some of the concerns rational and otherwise that we face when we go on an extended vacation.

- Am I breaking some kind of law? - Depending on your vacation you wonder if through ignorance you might be breaking some kind of law.  Most of the time this happens around the boarder or at customs.  They ask questions and you don't think you are doing anything wrong, but you feel like there are wrong answers. Well there are.  Don't even THINK about joking about anything.  There are NO jokes at customs.  This feeling gets worse when the country you are in speaks a different language and you don't.  Everything starts feeling like you are early in some film noir and a jack booted official is asking you for 'papers'.

- My pets are dying! - If you have pets you probably think of them as your furry children.  Well vacations don't usually look too kindly on animals although I HAVE seen 'service' animals that don't do much more than sit there for their owner, just like the non-service animals and get to accompany their owner on vacation.  Unless you can get a doctor to diagnose you with PTSD your pets are left in the care of someone or put in the kennel.  Putting a pet in a kennel is kind of like sending your kids to summer camp.  You hope they are making friends and having fun, but you suspect they are miserable.  If you get some kind of house sitter to take care of your animals, it only serves to take the edge off.  You are still wondering if they are being nice to your little furry friends.  Just remember, when you come home your animals will probably be very excited to have you home/mad at you.  They probably had an O.K. time, but they are happier that you are back home.

- I left X on - Just like being the last one out of the house, but completely puffed up to gargantuan proportions.  There are SO many things to take care of with an extended vacation that by the time you leave, you are certain you are forgetting any number of things.  These things include but are not limited to.  Cancel Mail, Lock doors, Turn off water, turn on Email notification at work indicating you are out.  Of course the classic is the leaving the gas stove on.  If you aren't sure of most of these things, you will find yourself constantly reminded of things you can't verify but probably took care of.  Here is a tip.  As you take care of things you are likely to ulcerate about, take a picture of it with your phone.  Then you will know exactly what you remembered and what you didn't.

- I'm going to get ripped off! (vacation scams) - This gets worse the cheaper you are.  If you are a real skinflint, you will really have a horrible time on your vacation because you have NO idea of the relative value of the goods and services you are getting.  Since you are a tourist, you can safely assume that you are probably paying an out of town surcharge, but besides that, you need to turn the scrooge off and enjoy the vacation.  Understand that taking time in another place is costly, but you are there primarily for a good time.  If you can't bear the thought of paying rack rate for anything, then you might like camping better since you don't have to deal with much of anyone and you bring your own food.  The best thing about camping is it reminds you why you live in a house away from nature.

- I've forgotten my passwords! - This is more an indicator that you really enjoyed your vacation and you didn't do that idiotic 'just check in with work'.  If you are checking in at work, then you work for idiots because they haven't duplicated your work processes so they can let you go on vacation without worrying about if the company can survive. If they are requiring this, you need to look for future employment because either they will burn you out or they will fail so spectacularly due to lack of planning that the company will suddenly look like a scout car wash.  You just get back to work and you realize that your hands no longer know the passwords to your regularly used applications.  You just sit there waiting for your hands to type out the patterns that you would have NEVER guessed you would forget.  Congratulations, you had a good vacation.

- Where are my passports?!? - This is a fun game related to the I left X on above.  This is where you take all of your reservation numbers and documents you need for your travels.  Chief among these are the passports.  Lose these and you can't get replacements easy.  In fact, if you lose them you are in some deep water.  You are constantly feeling for them in your pockets or purse.  Every time they aren't there,  You quickly start off with 'Where are the passports?!?'  This is followed by 'Didn't I give them to you?!'  Usually this closes with 'Oh that's right they are right here.  This also happens if you are carrying large amounts of bags with several people.  You are constantly looking and taking count.  You aren't even sure what you are carrying in them by now, but you know you need all of them.

- Will I be sufficiently entertained? - This one is really stupid.  I am guilty of this one.  I often arrange media players, portable games, and e-books are available to make sure that my every moment is filled with some sort of diversion.  Of course I use exactly 10% of the things I've prepared.  It's a waste of time and space.  Just take your number one device (usually your cellphone) and it will do just fine.  the rest of the stuff is probably just a some kind of traveling work out.

- Criminals are at my unprotected door! - This is like leaving stuff on, but it's worse.  Sure you've locked your door, but you don't know if someone is scouting out your house for theft.  The longer you are away, the better the likely-hood that you are going to be robbed.  Of course where you live has a lot to do with it, but for the most part your chances of being robbed are not very high.  One way to help that is to not advertise your vacation on social media before you embark.  Your friends might not rob you, but their friends might.

- I'm going to look stupid - Tourists by definition look stupid.  Don't worry.  Nobody expects you to look like a local and honestly why would you want to? Sure you are worried about thieves picking you out, but what can you do about it?  Nothing.  Don't be a rube, ask for instructions if you find yourself lacking direction, you'll save time and grief.

- No internet connection? - Some people are afraid of not being connected while they travel.  When cavemen first started using facebook, they weren't as attached to it and found they could leave it relatively easily.  As history progressed and other social media websites became prevalent it became harder and harder to leave the internet alone.  Just remember the war of 1812 When the British tried to disconnect the American troops from their Dial up connections.  Never have American's fought so valiantly.  Sheesh.


None of these things are worth not going on a vacation.  Get your plan together and GO.  Don't sit there and not go because you are a home body.  Have an adventure once in a while, it's something to talk about when you are at home.

10 Vacations

Vacation.  Just the word sparks the imagination of what you can do with all of your free time.  In business parlance it's called PTO or Personal Time Off.  Whatever it is, it's not working, or shouldn't be.  With any luck you have not arranged yourself into such a unique position that you can not leave without the company calling you constantly.  Here are all the vacations you will take.  Actually some of them are not vacations, but they are days where you aren't working.

- Theme park - Thanks to Walt Disney and his obsession with trains, Disneyland transformed what was previously seedy carnival parks with rides that mostly didn't kill you into theme parks with rides that mostly didn't kill you.  Sure there were theme parks before Disney, but Disney made them a household name.  After some years of refinement, Disney and parks like it are vacation destinations.  The young and young at heart find these destinations terrific and once in a lifetime experiences.  Be careful.  Theme park vacationing will often leave you with a feeling of having been on vacation for weeks and not at all relaxed.  You are burning through cash and calories walking and standing in line making memories.

- Camping - There are two types of people that choose camping as a vacation.  People that love the great outdoors and cheap people.  Very cost effective if you are actually camping.  Kind of spendy if you are camping in a hotel on wheels (Trailer).  When you have a home to go back to, they call it camping.  When you don't, they call it survival.  I'm not a big fan of camping myself.  A normal time spent camping usually has at least a minor burn as well as several bruises.  It seems you have to prepare to camp, then there is the camping, then there is the post camping clean up.  It seems a lot of trouble for the simple life.

- Not working - Having no work or being unemployed is only a vacation when you know what your next employ will be.  Before that, it's more of a strange feeling of displacement.  There you are at home, but you have no enjoyment of not working.  Once you have a job, it is usual that you will be working at some time in the future.  That time between acceptance and your first day on the job is a real VACATION.  You can enjoy the time and get your energy stored for the new job.  Better enjoy it because you won't have paid vacation for a while at your new job.  This also applies for taking comp time for overtime worked.  If you are working overtime and not taking comp time you are doing yourself and your company a disservice.

- Road trip - Everyone knows that a vacation requires you to go somewhere else to see something you've never seen.  The inescapable part of this is the road trip.  Unless of course you can fly there and have the money to do so.  So you hit the road.  One of the great movies on the subject is National Lampoon's Vacation.  A real unexpected diamond, it's full of obvious humor and funny scenes.  Often the road trip is the most memorable of vacations, not for the great times, but for the horrible things that happen.  The bad food, the flat tires, the lost keys, the detours, all of them turn into dear memories.  In my own mind, I often separate the road trip from the rest of the vacation.

- Staycation - Did I say camping was cheap?  Well the Staycation can be even cheaper.  You know what they say about great tourist locales.  They are visited by everyone except the people that live there.  Well the staycation endeavors to remedy that.  You stay at home and visit all of the touristy places that are around your own home.  It's only cheap because the hotel happens to be your home.  Whomever the house work person is will feel the least like it's a vacation, but otherwise, it's something to do that isn't the norm.

- Cruise - In my opinion, the cruise is the best possible vacation you can have.  Your hotel floats with you and you visit cities on the coast of the area you are cruising.  Yes, a cruise is expensive, but most of the time, the expense is more than worth the treatment and the memories.  The room (which you will rarely see) is of course covered.  The Food is covered.  The soft drinks are usually covered.  The entertainment is covered.  It's everything rolled up into one.  There are people there to do everything for you so the only thing you really worry about is relaxing and how soon you can take another one.   This of course changes if you are prone to seasickness.  If you are, make sure you are on a large boat, they don't rock as much.

- Death in the Family - Also not a vacation really, but it requires time off.  It's a family tragedy that requires you to take time off of work.  You will probably cancel your vacation as well as be caught offguard when you get back to work.  It's not a vacation by definition, but it is time off that your job assumes you took vacation.  If the death is close enough in your family, your employer will likely have some kind of bereavement plan that doesn't cut into your vacation time.  Small consolation really if the death is that close.

- Tournament/Convention - I put these together because there is a lot of crossover.  Sport tournaments or events often have the same kind of atmosphere as public conventions like ComicCon or CES.  It's kind of like a theme park without the rides.  You'll hang around with a lot of like minded people and look and do many of the same things.  Where tournaments are concerned, you hope your vacation lasts all week because that means you made it to the finals.  Conventions on the other hand often wrap up early for individuals.  What they both have in common is that they are time sensitive.  You can't put off this vacation for another week.  If you miss it, you won't be taking the time off.  Once you've seen it all, you're done.

- Museum - A specific destination, the Smithsonian comes to mind.  It's the Disneyland of museums.  But there are many more.  They are rarely city specific in that they don't really speak to the city they are in, but they are special draws of tourists to that city.  The Chicago Museum of Science and Industry was one of my favorites.  It takes at least a day to see it and it's great.  There are many other museums around the country that are worth seeing.  Either a part of a road trip or a staycation, the Museum can become a vacation by itself.

- Adventure - You are going somewhere, but you have no plan.  No place specifically to stay, and no real direction.  You
know in a vague way that you are going to go somewhere, but you don't know how long it will take, how much it will cost, or what will really be there.  The most well known adventure vacation is the backpack through Europe.  The trains are good and fairly easy to read.  Any more you will probably get together with other groups that are doing the same thing.  Other adventures start with you going somewhere and just staying there for a while.  You get a local taste of the culture and make local friends.  This outgoing vacation is for people that aren't afraid of meeting the unknown and shaking it's hand.  When the unknown comes to my door, I usually hide behind the funiture and hope the unknown will think i'm not home and move on.  The younger you are and the less attached you are, the more likely an adventure is for you.

Well, it's vacation time again.  I have a bonus picture I couldn't quite place.  It's very important that you understand it's message.

Go and enjoy.

10 Cities I've been to

Travel.  Thanks to technology, we have the ability to visit many places both strange and fantastic.  I have visited a few myself.  I have never been to any countries in the Asian theater, and not many places in South America.  So, the cities I cite in this list will be from the United States or Europe.  These are my favorite cities based on anecdotal experience not on the city having any actual merit.  I just had a good time.  This blog entry is definitely more about me than about my thoughts, so if you didn't want to get that close, just move on.  I won't hold it against you.

10.  Vancouver - We visited Vancouver (home of the Olympics and neighbor to Seatlle) but were going to drive home to Utah from there.  The city itself was very scenic and nice.  The weather was cool and drizzly but we were drawing to the close of a great vacation.  We rented an SUV to drive home (that we had reserved online) and were surprised to find it a really good deal.  When we got home, we were informed that we shouldn't have even taken the car across the border, I told them we had made no attempt to hide our destination and had taken the rental on honest pretenses.  They never charged us at all for the car.  Something tells me that having record of it being in Utah when it should have been in Vancouver would have been more trouble than just forgetting it ever happened.

9. Cinque Terra - 5 tiny coastal cities in Italy.  Cinque Terra is amazingly scenic and very walkable (if you are fairly healthy)  They also have a train that runs between all of the cities if you aren't as adventurous.  The main walk is a lovers' walk where the tradition is that you buy a lock and lock it to a piece of fence or railing somewhere along the trail and it will proclaim your undying love.  Really these little cities are very scenic and fun.  I think they go through and clear out the locks from time to time.  Otherwise there would be just too many.

8. Las Vegas - I like gambling, I've said in many of my blog entries.  Naturally Vegas would be one of the cities I would list.  But my favorite Vegas memory has nothing to do with gambling but rather Pikachu.  As we were passing through Vegas on the way to San Diego my young boys were very enchanted with the world of Pokemon, and they had just started selling small action figures.  Well anyone who knows Pokemon knows that having a Pokemon without a Pokeball is similar to having a bucket of paint without a brush.  We spent the day in Vegas going from toy store to toy store looking for the right Pokemon that comes with a Pokeball.  We even entrusted a young urchin with some money to play a game in an arcade that would promise a fabled Pokeball.  After losing a few times we took our action elsewhere.  We ended up with some Pokemon, in fact, a lot of them, but I still remember the trip.

7. Little Rock - In my youth I lived in Little Rock Arkansas.  Arkansas is now famous for being the Walmart headquarters.  At the time it wasn't famous for much except southern drawls and an open pit diamond mine that was free to the public.  I lived there for roughly 4 years, but I still remember it fondly.  Life moves slower there and people are as friendly there as anywhere I have ever been.

6. Barcelona - Definitely a jewel in Spain.  Barcelona is another Olympic city that has a lot of things to see.  It helps if you speak Spanish and helps even more if you speak Catalan, but they are very nice to tourists.  The city has the famous Gaudi Cathedral, but has many other very breath taking sights.  I think of it as the San Francisco of Spain.  Well worth looking into I promise.

5.  Mesquite - On I-15 before you get to Las Vegas, there is a border town that services St. George Utah's Gambling needs called Mesquite.  It is a dry small little town that doesn't really have a lot going for it.  4 casinos and a few bars, but for us, it had a motor lodge that we stayed in because it was cheap and available.  It was an employee's apartment complex for one of the casino's and they would put people up there if the hotel was full.  We would stay there several times when we traveled to California.  It wasn't terrific, but it was better than we expected.  We called it our 'cabin'.

4.  Carlsbad - Home to the famous Carlsbad Caverns, Carlsbad was a stop on a vacation that had taken several memorable turns that had left us stranded in Houston Texas.  There were no flights getting home and prospects were looking thin we rented the cheapest car they had and started a long and dusty drive back to Salt Lake City.  This drive took us close to Carlsbad as well as Roswell.  I would never have visited these cities if it weren't for our other misfortunes and it has since become one of our most memorable trips.

3.  Hameenlinna - This is the home city to my mother who was born and raised in Finland.  I have visited family there several times and it will always hold a special place in my heart.  It's not particularly scenic or tourist worthy, but it DOES have a castle and a posh resort not to mention memories of very short winter days and very long summer nights.

2.  The Hague - I called this city the City of the Dutch Gods.  I spent a year and a half in Holland serving a mission for my religion.  I started and finished this mission in The Hague.  Home of the International court and Madurodam (a miniature city)  This city will always be where I changed a lot of my views of the world.  It was a much bigger and yet smaller place thanks to this city.

1. San Diego - One of my favorite cities.  Nearly perfect temperature all the time, San Diego has a terrific zoo and a great public park.  It has the Gaslight District and is home to Comic-Con.  I have been there for many reasons and all of them were enjoyable.  I remember several days on the beach and other days driving to other attractions.  One stop we made several times was to the Science museum in Balboa park.  The kids really liked it and I did as well.  They had a Star Trek exhibit where we took a picture of ourselves on an actual Star Trek Set.  It was way cool.  It's a city worth visiting if you've never had the pleasure.

Very much a blog about me, there are certainly not all the cities I find remarkable, just some of them.  These are the opposite cities as you would find in my blog citing cities suitable for witness protection.  Almost didn't make it.  See you later! (15 days later).

Top 10 reasons a Cruise is the best vacation EVER

Just got back from vacation.  It was so good, that I had to figure out some way that I could incorporate it into a list of 10.  Since it's my blog, my editor said it was ok.  Once again, I try not to make this blog about me personally, but rather my views on things.  This entry will be both about me and my views on the subject of a cruise.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I'm a live and let live kind of guy.  I don't usually go out on a limb and say that something is the 'BEST'.  Even on my top 10 lists.  They are never listed in order of preference because that order will change depending on my mood and I figure nearly everyone else is about the same way.  This list will try to push you into the direction of cruising as a vacation.  I should get a kickback from the cruise industry and if nothing else from the Disney Cruise Line <-- (The happiest voyage on earth).

10.  Radio Silence - What is the point of a vacation?  It's it to 'get away from it all?'.  Of course it is.  Well when you are on a cruise ship, you have to pay extra (and by extra, they mean extra in every sense) for Internet and usually cellphone access.  I saw plenty of idiots that just couldn't leave their technology alone and they were constantly ignoring the rest and relaxation around them in favor of squeezing just a little productivity from their bothersome vacation.  People like this deserve the early grave they will likely come to because it's the only way they will get any rest.  Only within the past few years was a cruise starting to fail it's customers by allowing cellphone and internet access.  Before then you had to call the ship to shore method and it was VERY expensive.  That way you will not be tempted to leave your rest and relaxation.

9. Not as expensive as you might think - According to AAA the average vacation cost in 2007 was about 100 dollars per person per day.  Yes I know, the average person doesn't have a deal like you do because you get to stay with your aunt and you fix sandwiches for the whole trip, but if on average you spend 100 dollars a day, then 150 a day on a cruise is a pretty good deal considering they are doing all of the work for you and all you have to do is ENJOY.  It's certainly not out of reach for many that might think it is.

8.  I don't want to be busy!! -  A cruise allows you to be as busy or as lazy as you would like.  There are really very few limits as to the direction of your relaxation.  There are always movies or presentations.  Workshops abound.  Or you can take your book and sun yourself on the deck and watch the ocean go by.  The latter appears to be the activity of choice by many cruise goers.  I am partial to taking in movies and wandering around the decks aimlessly comfortable in the knowledge that I am accountable only to myself for the time I am 'wasting'

7. People are a lot more fun - Because you are on a cruise with other like minded people, you will find that making friendships is pretty easy.  After all,  nobody is placing any demands on anyone and as a result people are naturally on their best behavior.  If you travel with multiple families that is fun as well. 

6. My hotel room takes me places! - You go to sleep in America, you wake up in the Bahamas.  You go to sleep and you wake up at sea.  You go to sleep again and you wake up in Mexico.  No travel time because you don't have to drive it.  You get out of the boat and see the fun at the port and when you are tired of the fun, you go back to the boat for more fun.

5.  If mom can relax...everyone can relax.  -  This one is specific to Disney Cruise Line because It is the only boat I have experience with as far as children's programs.  But they have programs for 4 different age groups as well as infants (at an extra cost).  The programs are so engaging that many of the kids dread mom and dad coming to pick them up.  If mom can turn down her maternal instincts and let the fine Disney staff ply her kids with entertainment and fun, then mom can unwind and have some fun herself.  If mom can have fun, everyone can have fun.

4. Everyone should know what it feels like to be rich. - If they are working on the boat, they are working so you can enjoy yourself that much more.  There is a room steward that makes sure everything is made up in your room, there is a waiter and an assistant waiter there to make sure you have great flavors tripping the light fantastic off of your tongue at dinner.  There are people all over who's only wish is to entertain you and make your trip happy.  This is what rich people do.  They hire people to worry about their comfort.  It's surprisingly easy to get used to.

3.  Who's driving?  oh yeah, the captain. - I have no personal experience with this, but on some cruises there are options to have liquor included in the price of the cruise.  The Lush Boat will drive you all over the ocean in your inebriated state and the captain will continue driving.  Be careful, if you cause too much drunk trouble, they'll just chuck you over the side.

2.  Are we entertaining you enough? - I mentioned before that there is a lot of entertainment options.  On the Disney Cruise you have a theater that is running different first run movies all day.  Your room is running movies as well.  You can take classes or join in competitions, you can exercise or just sit back.  On top of all of this, there are broadway style shows to be had.  Really entertaining and very fun.  There are so many options in the way of entertainment that you are often wondering if you should skip a meal so you can participate in something else.  You can fall into the trap of being so busy that you start getting really tired on the boat.  Don't do this.  Just take in enough for your enjoyment.  Don't push yourself.  Your main goal here is to re-lax.  ahhhhhhhh.

1.  Food Glorious Food! - I save the best for last.  In this case, the food.  It is not just your cafeteria/convention food fare.  It's very near gourmet with very original recipes that are artfully put on your table for you to consume.  Not sure if you want the Chicken or the Seafood?  Take them both.  Wondering what the other deserts taste like?  Get them as well.  A cruise tradition is to offer a midnight buffet that is dedicated to just the deserts of the cruise.  If I wasn't so full of food the whole cruise I would have gone in.  I just couldn't.  Why oh why couldn't I have had that second stomach surgically installed?!

If you made it to the end of this blog, congratulations!  you deserve a cruise.  Go on one!

Thanks for reading!

Top 10 pieces of advice to NEW vacationers to DisneyWorld

I have been on several vacations in my short life I am grateful to say.  Some have been very relaxing and others have been exciting.  I am a big fan of the Disney Vacation.  I've always loved Disney.  Many people like Disney for the same reason other people don't like it.  I'm not going to go into all of that right now.

Instead I would like to impart my wisdom to those that are going to Disney for the first time.  More specifically, Disney World.  Disney Land is similar, but really the difference between Land and World pretty much covers the difference between Florida Disney and California Disney.  These are the bits of advice that I've either learned myself by sad experience, or learned by the much happier method of observing others.

1.  Go big or Go home - I'm not a fan of cheap people.  They are the cowards of the financial world.  Cheap people can not really stand Disney.  Disney is a business and businesses make money.  Disney does a good job of that by charging you a lot for the services they bring you.  If you have a problem with this, you might as well quit right now and just save your money for the local state fair.  Books and websites that are written to separate the cheap from their money by promising Disney for some super cheap rate or ways to get an angle on the Disney vacation that really don't do much to help.  Buying a ticket to Disney is like buying a new car.  You don't want to part with the money, but once you do, you enjoy the car you bought.  So decide up front that you are parting with the cash.  This doesn't mean you have to be a financial buffoon, but when you are in the park, stop your CONSTANT complaining about how much things cost!  You set yourself up to be a hero by bringing the tribe to Disney only to nickel and dime your image to death by complaining about the 5 dollar churro (I think it's really 3.50).

2.  Decide a good time to go - Bear in mind that any day in the summer is BAD.  If you are going once and once only, I suggest that you don't go during the summer.  This seems obvious, but many people get concerned with what they will miss or when they will be able to take time off etc.  This kind of vacation demands that you adjust your schedule.  There are many websites that will tell you when the traditional low tide times for attendance are.  You will notice that the best times to go will be when either or all of the following conditions are present:  a.  School is in session.  b.  cold time of year.  If your kids are young, pull em out of school.  Fewer crowds will be better for everyone concerned and when your kids are young, they aren't missing anything they can't recover from.  If you are going for the first time, don't try to stay for 1 day for each park, it will just seem like a fast dream.  Give yourself those extra days so you can really soak it all in.

Now you are here, you have 4 parks to choose from and these are they typical days that are heavy for each park so DON'T go on days that park has listed next to it

Magic Kingdom: Monday, Thursday, and Saturday
Epcot: Tuesday and Friday
Disney's Hollywood Studios: Sunday and Wednesday
Animal Kingdom Theme Park: Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday

if you find yourself in a bind because you went to Disney during memorial day weekend?  Go to Epcot.  That place is so huge that if it's really busy, you still really don't notice it.

3.  Exercise in good shoes - Ok Grandma and Grandpa, If you think you are in fairly good shape, think again.  D-world will test your feet like not much else.  Remember, you will not be working 8 hour days, you will be working 10 - 12 hour days.  Your dogs will bark like a werewolf at an independent film festival. You will need to walk a lot every day and really put yourself through your paces to be ready for the D-world. The problem is, there is just not a lot of sitting done outside of rides.  Sure there are benches etc, but you aren't there to rest, you are there to ride!  That being said, pace yourself and enjoy the surroundings. Of course you could take the scooter way out, but I think I can speak for most of the Disney going public, people in scooters at the park because they just can't hack it are looked at with a jaundiced eye.  On the other hand, nobody will say anything, so maybe that's your best bet.

4.  Unless there are only 2 of you, rent a car - The truth is, if there ARE only 2 of you you should rent a car anyway.  The car rental prices are pretty cheap and the freedom you gain in exchange for the 'savings' is immeasurable.  If you are staying on Disney property, you can avail yourself of their transportation services.  This is ok if you are going by monorail.  If you happen to be going by bus, you will be using the same system of transit you refuse to use at home because it is not convenient.  If you are off property and they offer  park transportation, remember, they are probably going to charge you around 15-25 dollars a person and it's on their schedule not yours. You will have to pony up 14 dollars a day for parking, but that will let you park at any of the parks you need to go to so at least there is that.

5.  Don't eat fast, eat well - Fast food is readily available at Disney and at very uniform and high prices.  The fast food there is ok, but for a little bit more you can eat at a sit down meal with some pretty fun atmosphere.  Every park has several places that make for good restaurant dining.  Make your reservations at least a day in advance and you will be glad you did.  Usual 2010 price for a plate sit down is about 20 dollars per person.  Yes it's a lot, but you get a lot of food and it's pretty good and don't forget the surroundings.  Fast food is about 1/2 to 3/4 the price and there is never enough.  I suggest finding a good breakfast and everyone eating big.  Then go to the park.  and get your reservations for around 2 or so at one of the many fun restaurants.  Eat well there and then maybe have a small snack/drink somewhere.  Oh, you'll be tempted to bring lunches and dinners and little bags of fruit snacks along with you to save those 5-8 dollars a pop.  The little bags of snacks MIGHT work it's a 50/50 bet at best.  Unless your kids are 4, they won't be fooled and few things look funnier than people with bottles of water that you froze that are bone dry except for the 2 inch ice core that rattles around inside them.  They do actually have drinking fountains at all parks.  This year at the eatery in France you can see a VERY cool animitronic remmy the rat that will really steal the show.  If you can slip in for a late lunch, it's a real treat.  Also, Don't eat those turkey legs! - This is more of a personal request.  I just hate the look of those turkey legs they serve.  I'm sure they are tasty and have a truck load of calories, but they look horrible and it makes everyone look like King Henry VIII's niece or nephew when they eat them.

6.  Learn the FASTPASS system and get a Runner - Fastpass is the biggest innovation Disney has brought to their parks since the eradication of the ticket system (but what a system!).  Every park has 3-4 big rides that everyone wants to go on several times.  The problem is, people hate standing in lines and Disney doesn't like you to stand in line either, they take some of the happy out of the happiest place on earth.  Big rides with big lines will have fastpass boxes in front of them and a friendly Disney attendant that will help you with them.  The boxes will allow you to put in EACH of the passes for your party into the box and get a fastpass for that ride.  The pass will tell you when the first time you can come back.  You can use the pass any time after the first number unless you are fastpassing a show or timed event.  Every 1 to 2 hours you can get another pass.  It doesn't matter if you have ridden your first ride or not.  This is crucial!  You need to get a runner to take everyone's passes in your party to bolt for the next ride you don't want to wait for and get the next round of passes. I would suggest someone young and responsible (oxymoron?)  During a typical Disney 10 hour day, you can probably get 6 fast passes for the day if you are sharp.  Why not more you ask?  Well the way fastpasses work, they only have a set amount of passes per hour that they will give out, once they are out, you are done.  So if a favorite ride has everyone getting passes for it early, that ride could be out of fastpasses before noon and they are scheduled through closing.  This ride is called Midway Mania and it's at the Disney MGM.  If you are going there get your fastpass for THAT RIDE until it stops giving them out.   But still on a busy day you get 6 rides that will be a 5-10 minute wait is pretty good.

7. Don't bother with the park hopper - What a scam!  they charge you an extra 56 bucks per person to make your tickets 'park hoppers'  This allows you to spend part of one day at one park and then hop to another and spend some time there.  This also allows you to visit the Disney Water parks.  If you are coming down to hit some of the water parks, then ignore what I just said,  the park hopper is the only game in town.  Otherwise don't do it.  Every park with the exception of the Animal kingdom takes a very full day to complete.  Epcot and Magic Kingdom take 2 days each pretty easily.  Hopping parks just burns your time away on a bus or monorail or in your car getting between parks.  It will take a minimum of 1/2 hour and I think that's being generous.  Just spend the day in the park you went to.  Oh, and if you think you are going to be clever by buying up extra days on your ticket and then using those days LIKE they were park hoppers, forget it.  Disney didn't just fall off the turnip truck, you are only allowed one park per pass per day unless you have purchased the park hopper pass.

8.  Your kids are how old?!  -  This is a big mistake.  If your youngest child is not at least 8 years old, you may not want to bother unless you are the VonTrap family.  You will likely have paid Disney for the privilege of scaring your kids to death.  Plus they won't remember a thing except the fear.  I promise.  Wait till your kids are at least 8.  Save the money and go when everyone is tall enough to ride all the rides.  There are some park benefits to having a stroller, but I'm not sure they are worth the trouble.  Individual families may vary and you know your kids better than I do.  I tend to think of this in terms of the age ratings on the sides of board games.  If you follow those, you will get games your kids will love.  If you try to push 3d-chess on your 6 year old, you are just wasting money.  Same thing with rides.  When you are really small, that Pirates of the Carribean is a daunting and scary ride that you may rather not remember and probably won't ever forget.

9.  Research the fun! - Disney has a habit of trying to make things fresh all the time.  Ask your kids if they have heard anything about what's going on at the D-parks.  Chances are, they know better than you because they might be tuned into the Disney Channel.  Check the Disney website and go to each parks sub-page.  There are things that you will want to know about the time you spend there.  For example.  Right now Kim-possible is a pretty hot Disney property and they are using her show to recruit kids into the Kim-possible mystery club at Epcot center.  They are given special cell phones (not real phones) that activate different hidden effects around the park after following clues they look for.  It's a lot of fun and keeps the kids interested because they don't much care for what France looks like.   Since this is for first timers, I wouldn't recommend the specialized tours unless it's for day 2 of that park.  One thing that I enjoy doing is pin trading.  Like at the Olympics, pin trading has become a big deal in Disney.  pins cost at minimum 4.50 apiece in a package.  Park employees will have lanyards strung with pins and you can just go up and ask them to trade.  Blue lanyards are special for small kids only (really cool pins).  Here is my secret.  You can go to ebay and buy a BUNCH of pins for around a buck apiece if you time it right.  Make sure you buy from a reputable pin seller but once you do, you really start getting into it.  When 30$ buys you about 28 pins, it's a lot easier to get excited about pin trading.

10.  Relax...you're on Vacation...Unless you aren't - I've always said there are 2 ways to do Disney.  All out, or at a leisure pace.  Taking it easy, you may not get as many rides per hour in and you may miss out on something that someone is standing in line for, but you may enjoy your trip more.  On the other hand, this may be your only shot, so open the park and stay till they kick you out.  You'll have time to rest when you are dead.  Both ways come with a certain satisfaction but if you are new, I suggest the killing yourself method.  You'll really feel like you've wrung every last bit of Disney goodness out of every darn Disney minute!  Also, don't be so hooked to your schedule that you can't explore something that looks fun you may have overlooked.  Don't worry about missing stuff because you will.  Over and over.  Just enjoy what you did catch and take lots of pictures.  It will be a great trip!

Our latest trip to Disney has been a lot of fun.  I would call it the Robert Frost tour of Disney.  Since we decided to go when it was at the absolute worst time ever to go (Memorial Day weekend)  we ended up seeing a lot of things we may not have bothered with otherwise and were the better for it.

Sorry it's late, but I'm on vacation ;)