Top 10 Superstitions

Ok, I'm not going to rush off on some kind of anti religion anti belief thing. This is not for that. I am instead going to look into those little superstitions that I've seen people do when they really want to be lucky, avoid bad luck, or when they want to divine the future.

The future is interesting to us because we really don't know what it is. If you have a method of divining it, then you really have some special powers and hey, why aren't you rich? Because If I had a measurable method of divining the actions of the coming days, you can be sure I would be buying up whatever stock would appreciate the most or picking that lottery number right as the lottery hits it's peak. Of course as any good fortune teller will tell you (myself included) the future doesn't work that way.

The desire for luck or more specifically the happenstance of chance falling in your favor is nearly omnipresent, luck comes in a couple of flavors. Luck that benefits you specifically, and luck that doesn't hurt you when you should get hurt. In one case, the luck you experience is that you aren't in the hospital like escaping a car wreck. In the other, you finally caught a break and there IS a Nigerian dignitary that is waiting to give you a "large sum of currency to be received". Many of my observations originate from playing in casinos. The majority of these people are seemingly sane and otherwise rational individuals. Every game in the casino is ruled by the mathematical laws of probability. If the casino thought for a moment that there was some kind of magic involved with any of the games, they would not employ them. The only time casinos talk about luck is in terms of their patrons. They will often talk about striking it rich or getting lucky or hitting the jackpot. Jackpot by the way, comes from a poker term in a particular kind of poker called Jacks or better where a pair of Jacks are required to win the "jack"-pot. how informative...now where were we...Ahh yes, luck.

10. Step on a crack -

Nobody wants to break their mothers back. I know my mom's back has had some problems and she doesn't need me breaking it. The only reason I mention this old saw is because it was my first remembered introduction to luck/superstition. You mean to tell me that if I step on a crack I'll break my moms back?! this was fascinating to me. how is it that these cracks know who everyone's mother is? And more importantly why doesn't the city do something about it? can't they pour crackless concrete? or better yet make sidewalks out of cobblestones so we don't have to spend our mornings walking to school avoiding chiropractic peril on our moms.

9. Extra-Religion -

This is interesting because it appears that living your beliefs are not quite enough. Nearly every religion has their minimum qualifications for compliance. But the members of these religions will institute their own EXTRA requirements for proper living of a pious lifestyle. Everyone knows that heaven couldn't possibly hold you and then someone like me in it at the same time without some kind of reconciliation. So if God is all forgiving, how can he show that he favors you above me without having some kind of extra credit policy in place? It just stands to reason that every time you help someone or do a good deed that is not some how rewarded immediately, that action will fall into that gigantic bucket of 'EXTRA' blessings at the end of time. You will be showered with this bucket and lauded in front of your peers and well wishers. No there isn't any scriptural references for this because it's made up. And yet i'm sure it's the case. God wouldn't want me to suffer for nothing would he?

8. Wish on a falling star - Everyone knows that if you see a genuine falling star, you are guaranteed one wish. It can be anything of course, but the rules on star wishing are pretty vague to say the least. apparently there is no time limit on granting this wish. So if I wish for say 1 million dollars. The falling star just says 'well, over the course of your life, you will make 1 million dollars sooooo, I guess my work is done here see ya!' Darn, I gotta stop wishing for 1 million dollars

7. Bad things happen in 3's - Why is it that bad things happen in 3's. If you get a flat tire, that's 1. If you then hurt your hand while changing that tire. That's 2. If you find out that your new insurance plan has a 1500$ deductible before anything pays, that's 3. WHEW! Now I can count on no more bad things happening. Until the next one happens and starts a new cycle of 3 bad things happening. I'm waiting for it. Actually it's because by the time I've counted to 3, I've lost interest. 3 seems to be a very mystical number what with the shape of a triangle and all. Pyramid power!!! It's all about the 3.

6. My Lucky X -

This something of some permanence and usually unusual in nature but not always. Talismans are knowns to endow the bearer with strange mystical powers and rare luck. I've had many lucky things. The lucky Rabbits foot is among the most recognizable but I never owned one. I believe the standard rejoinder against the rabbits foot is 'It wasn't lucky for the Rabbit was it?'. True, but we don't think of luck in terms of others. Luck is always relative and specific to each person evaluating it. I have had lucky rocks, lucky kids meal toys, lucky casino chips, lucky dice, lucky credit cards, lucky ID cards. With so many lucky things, you'd think I would be brimming with luck. Well I am. I couldn't be much more lucky really. I'm certain that my lot in life was helped in some small way by all of those items.

5. Don't tempt fate...or...Never say 7 at the craps table

- I only became aware of this little gem when I was playing craps for the first time and said 'anything but a 7'. When I uttered these words it was as though I had said something to question the fidelity of every persons mother at the table. People were saying 'take down my bets' and removing themselves from the table. I then proceeded to roll a 7 thereby making anecdotal experience a fact (something that casino's also like). I guess that the cosmos doesn't know when you DON'T want something. Don't be an dolt and give the cosmos any ideas on how to make your life more miserable. There is a corollary to this bit of superstition. That's saying out loud what you do want in a way that sounds like you don't want it. This is because you think the Universe is an idiot and can't tell what you really want and probably doesn't understand irony. I've found this behavior comes up with people that really believe themselves to be unlucky.

4. An Itchy Palm means you will get money soon -

This one is more of a fortune teller than a lucky thing, but who doesn't want to know they are getting money? And better yet, they get advanced warning! Thank goodness. Without advanced warning, who knows what I would have done with my precipitous windfall? I may have just blown it on something that was a little bit more expensive than I could afford thus increasing my used credit and lowering my credit score. What? I couldn't qualify for the loan to buy my house? BAD LUCK. I guess I'll have to move to somewhere a little less posh.

3. Good Karma - 'What would you do with the money if you won it?' reply 'Well I'd give most of it to Charity....'. Yeah. of course you would. The Gods of luck listen to this prayer with deaf ears. I'm sure they have been fooled before by the 'look at the good I will do' ruse. NEVER AGAIN. And yet people still try it. They espouse all of the things they would do with windfall money to help those around them so naturally the Cosmos will think it fitting to give this person a large bonus because it will go to a good cause. After all the only thing better than a good person that will give all their winnings to charity is a benevolent supreme being smart enough to recognize my good intent. If I won a lottery I would probably sell my house and live on a cruise ship the rest of my life getting larger and larger on wonderful cruise food until my arteries had hardened to the point that it acutally sunk the ship. God himself could not sink this ship indeed. Actually, If I had near infinite wealth, the only way you would know about it is that I would suddenly be writing a lot more blogs because I would have a LOT more free time on my hands. And of course my cool car and several homes and the person I would hire to impersonate me in case jealous people wanted to assassinate me for being so gosh darn lucky. If I do anything good with the money, it would be clearly coincidental. God knows this. That's why I'm not winning.

2. Never Walk under a ladder -

This is one I heard very soon after hearing about breaking my moms back. Breaking a mirror was 7 years of bad luck is in there along with the black cat that crosses my path. Un-Lucky Number 13. These are the good old symbols of back luck that seem to always come out at Halloween (except the ladder one I guess...Boo! I'm a ladder!). They seem to have originated from genuine superstitions, but still they all seem kind of silly. And yet to this day the 13th floor does not appear on some elevators leaving you to wonder if they just painted a 14 on the 13th floor or did they make the floor and skip it altogether. Breaking a mirror is 7 years bad luck because mirrors are made of glass and it seems like it will be about 7 years before you get all the shards cleaned up. Walking under a ladder isn't unlucky, it's stupid. One false move and all of the sudden you have the guy on top of the ladder coming down on top of your head. Sheesh. I'm not sure about the black cat. I guess you have to believe in witchcraft for that one to hold any water. I like cats. they are easy to take care of and the keep mice away.

1. Don't Jinx it!!! - This is the most common form of luck drawing that I've ever seen it is very similar to the Don't tempt fate bit above. It happens EVERYWHERE and with very normal people. This is the opposite of wishing someone good luck and many times can be counter to that form of luck. This involves nobody recognizing that the cosmos has shined upon you and you got away with something that normally you shouldn't have. If the cosmos hears that it has been unfairly giving you good fortune, it will surely stop. For example, in Tennis, this is often used as a mental strategy to get someone off of their serve. during the court change, you mention. "Wow, it doesn't seem like you've missed a serve". They are breaking the rule of don't Jinx it. They are saying out loud the thing that is happening that is giving you fortune. Then you start thinking about it and you start serving more poorly because you are paying attention to it. Some people have modified this piece of luck such that they are able to whisper what they want to keep happening. This is very risky behavior because even though the Universe is old, it doesn't mean it's hard of hearing.



As always! Thanks for reading. If you have any ideas for top 10's I would love to hear em!

Top 10 Wishes

So you are walking down the beach and you see a strange looking bottle. You pick it up and uncork it to find that a rather large genie is standing before you. To show you his gratitude the genie will grant you 1 (count em 1) wish. He mentioned how the 3 wishes thing was blown up by the media and it was never really the case. Now to put a twist on it, a 2nd genie comes out of the bottle and says he will give you your wish as well. Wow! you think, 2 X the wishes (I wish you would beat me 1/2 to death with that stick...if you don't know the joke, send me a comment, it's worth a retell) The catch with the 2nd wish is this is how the genie WANTS to grant it to you.

So to get this straight. wish 1 is the wish the way you want it. Wish 2 is the same wish but the way the genie wants to give it to you. Rules of wishes. We've all heard these before, but lets go over them one more time if you aren't a Disney Fan. 1. You can't alter someone else's will (make others fall in love with you, do something they don't want to do etc). 2. You can't wish for more wishes you greedy so and so. One wish is more than anyone gets so be satisfied with it. 3. No bringing back people from the dead (there is some lee way on killing them).

Here we go!


10. Money - Duh. The genie is so tired of this wish, he's thinking of just showing up with a couple of gold bricks to cuff you up side your head with. Money money money. Everyone wishes for it. You know I do. The funny thing is, If I look at how much I make and what I have now, I've already got more than 95% of the people on the planet. The Genie is probably disgusted. So if the wish is money, depending on how you wished it, The Good genie would give you a bank account with endless 0's in it's balance. The bad genie (thanks monkeys paw!) will kill a close wealthy relative so you can collect the money, or put you in a horrible disfiguring accident that leaves you without the use of your arms and legs but receiving an impossibly huge settlement from all the oil companies and Martha Stewart (it was a really bad accident).





9. Security - This is what we are really asking for when we ask for money. What we really want is security. I would love to know my job is always there for me, or my family will always be safe etc. Who needs money if you have security. Of course the mean Genie will just kill you because the dead fear nothing. If by Genie rules he's not allowed to kill you, he will probably just poof you a large handgun and a conceal carry permit. The good genie has a bigger problem. How do I give you ultimate security? Probably make you immortal, but that wasn't the wish. The good genie would be left with telling you that any genuine fear you have will be immediately taken care of on a case by case basis. Depending on how fearless you are already this wish may end up being a moot point because a lot of people make their own security.





8. Youth - Of course if you are young, you don't know the value of this wish. As you age everything about you gets older except your brain. Your brain still thinks of you at around 20 or so. This is why you'll see so many middle aged men incur sports related injuries at their 25 year High School Reunion. The good genie would of course give you your 20ish body that you would have to explain to all of your currently middle aged friends. The bad genie would likely have an island full of really old ugly people and tell you that as long as you stay on that island you will be 20 years old, but if you leave you'll look worse than a picture of Dorian Grey.








7. Immortality - This is a little different than Youth. People that wish for this are wishing to not have to worry about things like disease and dying but will be stuck at the age they are at. You might be able to get a dismemberment rider in there to say that you also will not lose any appendages and everything will work properly throughout the eons. Of course if you have watched Highlander at all, you know that being immortal means that you must get used to the idea that all of your friends and family will die. The good genie will give you the immortality you seek and you will be impervious to death and disease. The bad genie will think about it for a while and then put you in a coma to be maintained by medical science indefinitely. Not what you asked for exactly, but it makes him snicker.

6. Beauty/Charisma. Tired of being the ugly bag of bones you are? Want those model looks that God didn't grace you with? Just tap that wish and it's all yours. Wait a minute. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder right? So if you are looking for ultimate beauty either you would have to change in appearance to match the ideal of whoever is beholding you, or you would have to become a universal definition of beauty (look it up in the dictionary, picture of you). The good genie just makes it easy and makes you the most beautiful/handsome person you could possibly be and nobody would deny it. The bad genie would just send you to church where everyone would tell you you looked great.

5. The destruction of your enemy - Hold on there cowboy! no wishing against the will of someone else! OH!!! you don't want to directly affect them, just everything around them...hmmmm...So you don't care how well off you are, you just want to make sure that jerk suffers. hmmm...you really have some anger issues don't you. Well, if that's what you want to blow your wish on, I guess we can do it. So your enemies fields are salted, their animals are starved to death, they can't find a good job. The Bad Genie would make it easy and just make your boss managed by you and call it good.




4. I want to give my brother 3 wishes - Very noble indeed, but you remember proviso number 2 above. NO WISHING FOR MORE WISHES!!! Oh, I guess you wouldn't be getting the wishes hmmm. You trust your brother with more wishes than you got? But you figure that your brother would give you what you wish for and he could have 2 wishes left over, that was more than you got. Good genie doesn't like it, but he wanders off to your brother and comes back 3 minutes later. His wife looks like a million bucks, All his credit cards are paid off, but not his house because he needs the tax write off, and he has a magic box that continually makes fresh krispy kreme doughnuts. Your brother wasn't really that bright. The bad genie would just turn you into a genie so you could be in charge of fulfilling your dopey brothers wishes.





3. Eat whatever you want to without gaining weight - I include this because I've heard it so many times. "I wish I could eat whatever I wanted to and it wouldn't go to my (place where your weight goes)." The dieters first wish is to not feel the ill effects of their gluttony. The good genie would just make it so your stomach would only absorb the exact amount of calories that you need and the rest of the food just disappears (maybe to the plate of a very hungry family that could make use of the wishes better than you). The bad genie of course will just make it so you can't walk anywhere, you must wind sprint. after 2 weeks, you'll burn every calorie you ever had.

2. I could do real magic - I remember hoping for something along these lines when I was a kid. when I grew older I scaled down this fruitless wish to the desire to move things with my mind (Telekinesis). Now I would just like to perform a good card trick without my kids telling me where I put the card I hid. The good genie would just give you mental power over all the elements (that should cover it). Of course if you really had this power, you would want to show it off and then you would be the target of nearly every government, but if you could keep it a secret then you would be ok. But then what's the point of doing real magic? The bad genie would once again turn you into a genie and then grumble about the grass being greener as you smoke into your bottle waiting for some other sad sack to pick you up.







1. Lucky - I have wished this many times myself. When the light of good fortune smiles right next to you, you lament your luck. Why can't I be lucky like so and so. I've been right next to a person that has seen a royal flush come up on their draw poker machine. I've seen people win lots of money/prizes and wondered why when I need some luck, the exact opposite happens to me. Well I'm sure a part of it is that I treat lucky events in my life as though they just should have happened so I don't appreciate them. Good genie makes you the best Yahtzee player in recorded history. Bad genie puts you on the planet and then hits it with a meteor to find you the only person left alive. Wow, that was lucky.