A hero here , a hero there, there are lots of hero's on the big screen these days. They are everywhere. We love the hero, they are people we wish we could be. But every hero has a few things in common with his fellow hero's. Here is a few I thought of...
10 - Personal Tragedy - The hero's journey always seems to start with this. Some kind of personal tragedy. The interesting thing is that as characters, hero's need some kind of tragedy that is universal. Usually the loss of a parent. I've never seen anyone driven to a life of crime fighting because they got a C on a test or came home to find their pet hamster had died. It has to be a genuine life changing event that usually ends in you losing one or both parents.
9 - No specific need for food - Hero's have an interesting life in that they rarely eat or use the bathroom. Mostly this is because there isn't anything interesting happening at those times so why bother? Besides, your average hero might not need those things anyway. A notable exception is the Flash. He's always gotta be eating because he burns up thousands of calories running as fast as he does, or even just standing still.
8 - Really dumb people around them - There is something about hero's that make everyone around them helpless and stupid. It's not very far off to say that we are really that way. When you call technical support and find someone that can answer your questions, you immediately turn your brain off. Super Tech is here and will solve all the problems. Same with driving. When you are driving somewhere, you are master of time and space. When you are a passenger, you barely know where you are, you leave it in the hands of the one with the steering wheel.
7 - No sense of self preservation - Hero's seem to rush into danger headlong. You start to think to yourself, 'Yeah, I'd do that too if I had _____' where blank is some power that helps the hero. Well unless that hero is Superman and impervious to everything, you would still be giving yourself second thoughts. Who want's to get burned? Drowned? Crushed? Nobody. But hero's don't really care. It's probably because they lost their parents.
6 - Really smart person that replaces a parent - Now just because the hero has lost their family doesn't mean they don't have mentors. A good hero will always have the one or two people that they talk to in order to help them out of a jam. Usually this person is dispassionate enough to tell the Hero what they need to hear, but enough of a friend to stick by them through thick and thin.
5 - Super powers of some sort - Really without powers, you are just a dude that gets himself into other peoples business. Once you have a selection of super powers, you are ready to take your show on the road. Strength, Speed, ESP, There are loads of powers out there, just pick one and have at it.
4 - Weakness - Unfortunately a good hero needs a weekness. Something for the bad guys to exploit. Usually this weakness is uncovered by one of that hero's well meaning idiot friends. Either by helping or by accident, the weakness always comes out. The real weakness of any Hero is the friends and family they have around them. Once a bad guy discovers that, they have a real edge. Unless of course the Hero finds their friends and family. Except the hero never looks for that. I wonder why...hmmmm.
3 - No problems with money - Rich or poor, the hero always seems to have what they need. In fact, sometimes money IS the super power. Can you imagine Bill Gates in colorful underwear stopping crime? I'm sure he can. Since Heros are nearly invincible on a regular day, Money shouldn't really be a problem even if they aren't rich. Spider-man always needs money, but doesn't need a car, The flash is faster than a car, Superman doesn't need anything. Money is for regular mortals.
2 - Costume(s) - Speaking of colorful underwear, a Hero needs some kind of disguise. Why? primarily because they don't want to be identified as liable for all the collateral damage they wreak capturing criminals. If you are going to be a hero, you need your anonymity. After all, Just because Wonder Woman is a great crime fighter doesn't mean Diana Prince wouldn't like to see a movie sometimes.
1 - Your Tax dollars Hard at work - We already discussed that hero's don't need money, but under the pretext that they do, the best they can be is a consultant or entrepreneur. Once in a while, they get into a profession of some sort that helps them solve crimes, but usually they rely on benefactors like the Government. Fantastic 4, I'm looking at you. Even Batman has Government contracts that make his company profitable. Tony Stark (Iron Man) might as well BE the Government. Wonder Woman works at the Pentagon. If they aren't directly involved, Hero's are often in Law enforcement or Research fields, each heavily subsidized by tax dollars. American way indeed.
There it is. Think you're close? Don't take the bait. Just get a job and start paying into the debt hole. You won't be the hero we want, but you will be the hero we need.
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