10 Jokes you need to stop telling

Jokes.  Humorous stories that end with a punch line.  A punch line is the final phrase that makes the whole situation funny.  Without it, the joke is just a story that doesn't really end, it just sits there.  Another form of joke is known as the 'one liner'.  This is a single comment about a situation that is funny on it's own.  Usually just an observation about something, a well executed one liner is a question of being clever and having good timing.  Done properly, a one liner looks much easier than it is.  At your given office/workplace there is someone there that is the unofficial funny guy.  The one that everyone expects to hear something funny from.  If you don't know who that person is, either you are it or you don't get around much and you get a lot of work done.  In which case, good for you.  So this is a list of the types of jokes that really don't need to be told anymore.  They are so overplayed that they don't really get much more than a wry chuckle.

- not PC jokes - The politically Incorrect Joke.  When I was a kid, I remember hearing my first Pollock joke.  by Pollock I mean to say a stupid or oblivious person, not someone from Poland.  For a long time as a child I thought that was what the word meant.  It was synonymous with stupid.  That became politically incorrect and rightly so.  Then they replaced that joke with the 'blonde' joke which for some reason was even more oblivious and quite a bit more stupid.  Not quite as offensive as the Nationality Joke but still offensive if you were a blonde and not particularly bright.  Mostly because blondes had an anecdotal history of acting stupid to get what they want.  Now if you want to tell a joke about someone stupid you don't need to set it up with a label because we're pretty much all stupid.  The reason beyond the obvious that you need to stop telling these jokes is because they have been told for ages and are recycled through different stereotypes the jokes themselves haven't changed and are not that funny anyway.

- Job jokes -  These are jokes based on your job.  The classic would be the following:

Checker:  Did you find everything ok?

Painfully smart customer:  Why? were you hiding something?

This is of course not limited to checker jobs.
Call center service rep for Bank/Service/Anything:  Is there anything else we can do for you today?
Mensa customer:  Sure, could you add 100k to my account?
ha ha ha.

Cleverly calling accountants 'bean counters'  doesn't even register as a joke anymore.  Every profession has their distinctive elements and those elements are only too well known to the person working them.  Your observations about their job are not only not unique, but are at best slightly annoying.  

- Job jokes part 2 - These are different job jokes,  they are the ones where the manager wryly makes a joke about everyone having enough 'on their plate'.  Usually couched in irony a manager will say something like 'I'm sure nobody has anything to do before the weekend, so I wanted to give you this to chew on'.  This isn't even met with a laugh, it's his way of telling you that he hasn't been able to do his job and you are going to pay the price.  his job being managing the flow of work to the employees.  It's no joke.

- Twin jokes - These jokes are only available when you meet someone you find out is a twin.  You will be tempted to break out the 'evil' twin joke.  'Which one is the evil one?'  or 'Do you ever switch dates?' sure it seems a fertile ground for levity, it's more of a painful groundhog day where every time someone finds out you are a twin you become 1/2 a person and now must bear hearing about a show someone saw, or the little fact about child actors often being twins because they can't work as long as adult actors.  Just stop.

- tax jokes -  I have been just as guilty of these jokes every year as anyone.  I don't think people should stop telling them.  I think they should stop thinking they are jokes.  The observations that the Government spends money without thought or wisdom is all too real.  The reason we tell these jokes is because we feel we have nothing else we can do.  We are helpless and so we make a joke as a gesture of surrender.






- political jokes - Not the jokes told by us about the other party (in America anyway), these are specifically jokes by politicians.  They are usually told during campaigns, but can be told during press briefings and other events as well.  Here is the problem, do you want to elect a comedian?  Probably not.  Some people are naturally good joke tellers or even comedic observers.  If they are, that's fine.  If they are a stiff bought-out party shill, they are not going to be good at telling a joke, so there is really no point.  It hurts to listen to someone who doesn't have a good sense of timing tell a joke.

- school rivalries jokes - These are also political jokes, but these are told by people about the other party or school.  Here is a classic I'm sure you've heard over and over:
A student from University X walks into a bathroom at University Y.  After finishing he starts walking out and a student from University Y says 'At university Y we learn to wash our hands after using the bathroom'  Quickly the student from University X replies 'At University X we are taught to not pee on our hands'  Yay.  This is a twist on the stupid joke that applies politically to whomever the opposition is.  Just say no.

- puns - Not jokes, just a play on words.  The interesting part is in other languages, puns don't really work out very well.  People don't appreciate them.  In another language I purposely used to the word that indicates an animal eating to describe myself eating but trying to imply that I was so hungry I would eat like an animal.  I was told I was using the wrong word.  Some people go on pun riffs and thats fine, but I've found the conservation of energy around a pun does not allow it to ever be funny.  That is, the energy used to create or use a pun outweighs the laughter energy created by it.  I will say that puns incorporated with a picture furthering the joke does get a lot more mileage for the pun and may be a rebirth of the art form the visual part moves it up a notch.

- automated response jokes - Primarily set in the phone answering machine or call screening service, you are calling someone and a voice will ask you please state your name.  Smartly nearly everyone will say 'me'.  Ha, wow.  that's is not only funny, but will probably cause you to have to call again because the person on the other side won't respond to 'me'.  Still very funny.  I'm still laughing.  I remember the days before caller ID when you were anonymous until announced and people would say 'Guess who' .  That was usually a good way to get hung up on.



- Name jokes - The classic.  Lets take the case of Wright, my own name.  I know and have known EVERY joke that concerns that name since I was 8.   There is not a joke you could tell me about Wrong, Left, Mister, or Always that I haven't heard more times than should be socially acceptable.  Accentuated during my dating years every so often it still will trigger some 'clever' response to which I am obliged to laugh politely.  I then usually say something like 'I remember the first time I heard that one.  I think I was at recess at school'  I should stop saying that as well.

Honestly, there are plenty of ways to tell funny jokes without using these tired subjects.  If you can't find any; that might be a signal that you probably shouldn't tell jokes.  I for one will probably still use all of them because I need all of the humorous crutches I can find.  But the rest of you?  no.  don't do it.

10 ways to know if you are playing team politics.

From time to time I get on about team politics.  By team politics, I mean a person that has identified themselves as a member of one political group or another, so strongly that they can scarcely see the good in the opposition or bad on their own team.  They do this instead of weigh the planks of either platform and decide if that party's platform more closely resembles their thoughts than the alternative.  The problem with this, is the parties start to respond to this kind of behavior by doing things that better the party instead of better the country.  I have rarely written much about politics, but I feel this needs to be said because if we can't orient ourselves to the betterment of our nation instead of our pride we will find ourselves with an increasingly unresponsive government much like the one we enjoy today.  For those of you that aren't politically minded, politics aren't the only thing people play teams with.

10.  I wish I'd said that! - When you hear the other side say something that makes a good point, instead of giving them the credit for a well thought out point you resent your own side for not having made it.  Because when you are all in for one side, you are only about points and nothing else.

9.  They are idiots - When you are rooting for a team, you have to pick apart the opponent one way or another.  The vague estimation of their intelligence is the easiest way to promote your team by tearing them down with no specific proof.  It's just here say.  After all, they MUST be idiots, they are playing for the other team.  But assuming that someone is stupid OR smart based on one or two events or phrases makes you the idiot.

8.  They are great people! - Much like studies that have a theory they are trying to promote, scientists often look at data with a skew in interpretation towards the outcome they are looking for.  We do the same when we start looking up people we either side with or are against.  We will mentally cull all the information that does not support our assumptions about that individual.  They are evil bastards or saints.  I would suspect that in this world, most people have a bit of both good and bad in them on BOTH SIDES.  Our job should be to promote the good ones not the team no matter who they have on it.

7.  We never argue - If you can't look at the flaws on your side's players, you are probably a team cheerleader.  How can 2 parties possibly have all the answers for all of the people in our country on either side?!  Of course they can claim to, it's their job to proclaim that they are the last word in governance.  If we get back to the idea of representative government, we realize that some things we should support are actually claimed as ideological points on the other side and they should support some of ours.  Not because they are giving in on their ideological ground, but because it's what is the most right for our country.

6.  I always vote - This one is a bit more tricky.  If you always vote, but you rarely look into the candidates or the issues you are voting for, this means you are letting someone else tell you how to vote.  You are the water boy/girl for that team.  An important thing to always bear in mind is BOTH SIDES see politics as money and not much more.  Sure, once in a while there are people that are actually idealistic about public service, but that usually only lasts until the first lobbyist's campaign check.  Voting without researching what you are voting for because its 'your right' is like grabbing a gun and shooting it off into the air without thinking that it probably has to land somewhere.  Often, that bullet will land harmlessly somewhere where it doesn't matter much, but there is a remote chance that that bullet will matter a lot.

5. Serves them right! - Cheering when the opposition to your party is caught in something dubious is at best counterproductive.  It shows that what is being done doesn't matter nearly as much as that they were caught in the act of something.  Well, if your side hasn't been caught in enough situations with their collective pants down, then maybe it's fair to do so, but even then, it's not charitable.  But THEY aren't charitable with us so so so so.  Yes, I know.  YAY TEAM.  *yawn*

4.  Well, you have to put the situation in context. - Looking deeply on your side to try to find a plausible reason as to why your side screwed up, and justify it.  The deeper you look and the more websites you try to find to justify your position, the more you are just buying jerseys on behalf of your team.  Try to think why you can't take your bad news on face value like you do in number 5?  Hmm...

3.  The important thing is who's fault it is - This one is pretty special because it usually happens when two team players face off in a grand show of who's team is best.  Usually by taking one issue and then following it down to who's fault the failure is.  What is interesting is, there are SO many issues to choose from that Government has screwed up.  Who wins?  Both Teams!  Who loses?  You do.  What might be even more interesting is what can be done to fix any given problem.  Often I've found that the problems are much more complicated than the one liner antidotes that I have heard (or even given myself).

2.  Well, at least we aren't THEM - Oh the 3rd party.  The enemy of my enemy, should be my friend right?  Not in this case.  When a 3rd party candidate shows up, many people complain because they will split the vote of the candidate they are most like giving the other side a plurality victory.  This has happened a few times in our history and it wasn't THAT bad.  What concerns the team player is that it's not fair to have another team on the field.  It's just not done.  If a 3rd party is not a part of the system, they are not a part of the inside knowledge that politics is a show for the people not unlike professional wrestling.  A 3rd candidate is like a different franchises wrestling crew.  Who likes them?  They are horrible.  They don't know what they are doing. We need professionals.  Well, if politics is by the people and for the people, I would hope that we have fewer instead of more professional politicians.

1.  You don't even know the story, but you're sure they are wrong.  - Fox news?  Must be that stinking Republican Channel.  MSNBC?  Gotta be those tree hugging lefties.  Instead of looking for sources for the story, team players look for the stories outlet as a guide as to weather or not it's actually factual.  I've done this myself from time to time and have found that I'm missing on really cogent points of view.  I may still not agree with them, but to see them intelligently put together in a way that is informative is not the purview of any one news outlet or even a reporter.  Everyone is allowed their version of the truth.  This is not to say that the press is not the BIGGEST bunch of team players out there.  They are.  Make no mistake.  When it comes to political punditry, you can see pretty quickly that the press is not an outside observer of the machine, but rather an integeral cog.

Just remember kids, Bigotry,  is ANY time you paint with a broad brush your anecdotal judgments on to the canvas of an entire group and assume they are valid.  Play nice.  We should be people first, political animals 5th.  See you in 15.  

Ten Deals with the Devil

Deal with the devil.  The Faustian bargain.  The proverbial selling of ones soul for a time of unlimited magic and knowledge.  Well if your deal involves something less than unlimited magic and power, then the payment will end up being something less than your soul.  Of course, ultimately it's still the same.  you want a shortcut to something you want and you will pay later, possibly more than you want.

1 - Credit cards - So you're saying that I can have this money NOW.  I just have to pay a portion of what I owe over time plus a small fee?  Many people only hear the part where they can get that big screen TV now.  That's it.  The whole part about payments and interest and whatnot are just little Jiminy Cricket's whispering annoyingly in our ears.  Mmmmm...HD TV.  Then you get your credit card statement.  True to the bargain, you are paying a piece as you agreed.  If you calculate that piece out, you are paying for that TV nearly 3 times over by the time you are done with your payments.  That's if you just buy the TV.  Next month you want a few other things to go along with the TV.  So you defecit spend yourself into the next many years getting the things you want now and paying for them for a long time to come.  Bad Deal.

2 - Pets - They are so CUTE!  I love little puppies and kitties and every little animal!  There is the rub.  Animals are at best a responsibility, at worst, you have this cat or dog that has grown up and is no longer cute and is kind of annoying.  Layer that on to the fact that every time you want to go on vacation, you wonder if the pet is doing ok at the Kennel or with friends visiting them.  If you are getting a pet because of the cute beginnings, you will find that they outgrow that pretty quickly.

3 - Tattoo - One hazy night worth of chemically altered vision and you get a big chunk of ink plastered who knows where.  Of course you'll claim that it's exactly what you want and something that you really love.  But only you know if it's any good or what you really wanted.  When you first saw it, you decided you wanted to live with that design forever.  Years later...who knows?

4 - New Car - They are so expensive and much like credit cards, you can drive them right away with only a manageable payment made per month.  Everyone will tell you that a car is not an investment, it's a tool.  But it's a tool that will wear out relatively quickly compared to something like a hammer. You hope the car you get will be able to last as long as the payments and even if it will, your love of the car will not.

5 - Not Brushing Your teeth - each night a child goes to bed a vigilant parent checks and pushes them back into the bathroom to actually brush their teeth.  Children do not realized the amount of trouble that can be avoided by just maintaining a good tooth brushing regimen.  Adults often bemoan the lack of wisdom of their youth and are doomed to repeat the warnings they heard as kids.  This deal with the devil gives you an extra 3 minutes of sleep nearly every night in exchange for excruciating pain on a few days of your life and eventually implants or dentures.  Ick.

6 - Book/Record of the month club - In my day, this was the first exposure that a kid had to the world of contracts.  The come on was simple.  Pick any 10 records for 1 penny.  1 sliver of copper would give you more music than you could listen to in an entire night!  Amazing!  All you have to do is agree to buy a certain amount of records over time, and to make it easy, they will send you a record a month unless you tell them you don't want it.  Pretty soon, you are getting records that are kind of expensive when you add in shipping and that little imp of mail sales HANDLING.  Like a credit card, if you work it correctly, you actually could buy records on average for a slightly better rate than retail.  Get done with your obligation, quit the club and rejoin.  This deal was made better if you rejoined through a friend and took one of the 2 free records he would get for signing you up.  This was all a clever scam if you paid enough attention to run it.  Like credit, most don't run it right.  Boom the record devil gets your soul.

7 - Votes for a Politician - In this deal, you actually don't get much of anything at all.  Politics are more like rooting for a team than voting for an individual.  It's impossible for you to know the individual unless you already knew him/her from a prior meeting.  So you are voting for the best portrayal of a politician.  On top of that, everything a politician promises are not at all binding by law and the circumstances of being president appear to circumvent any walking up to the promises you make.  So you cast your vote for one devil or another, but the deal is the same.

8 - Education - In this version, you decide to avoid college alltogether and venture out into the world looking for a job on just your good looks.  With the right attitude you get employment, you get reccomendations and connections and eventually you end up in what you would call your career.  The entire time, you wonder if your life would have been better if you would have actually gone to college and gotten X.  X is the degree you DIDN'T get.  Because unless you got a doctorate, you will see people that ventured to get degrees beyond the one you achieve and wonder if their life is better.  So short term time and experience but it's paid for with a lifetime of doubt.


9 - Education - In this version, you get as much education as you can afford through student loans and mom and dad and wherever else you can scrape together money.  You finish your education and you continually wonder if the career you get is worth the money you paid for the education you think you needed to get it.  Often you get a career in a vocation that has nothing to do with your educational field.  The student loans seem to stay with you a lot longer than the actual accumulated knowledge.  Short term you got the education you thought would guarantee you success.  Long term you wonder if you needed to burn that much money to get what you got as well as continually tell yourself that you were glad you got the education no matter what it lead to because it broadened your horizons.

10 - First Home Loan - This one FEELS the most like a deal with a devil.  The first home you get a loan for, you see the piles of papers and the signatures and initials that are required and then the sum total of the loan you are getting and you KNOW this is serious.  Up to now, you've been paying monthly rent and there was nothing much more to it.  They raise your rent a few bucks every other month, and you agree to pay.  NOW, you are on the hook for 15-45 years.  You feel like an indentured servant.  Thank goodness, you get used to that payment in 3-6 months.







Well, it's time to vote again.  I would suggest that you vote for someone you know something about if you approve of them.  Those of you that just stopped by and especially those of you that read all the time...you know who you are.  Thanks!  I really appreciate it!

10 Things that used to be Optional/Required

Kudos to my younger and smarter brother for the idea on this one.  I've noticed that there are several things in life that used to be something that you did if the situation warranted it.  Discretion based activities.  For some reason these activities have become mandatory.  Other activities used to be required, but are now optional.  I think you'll get what I mean.

10. Now Required - Shirt and shoes - Well, I guess this is obvious.  Apparently there was no need to wear these items into the store historically because later on, signs stating that these clothing items became required were all the rage in the late 60's 70's.  Hmmm...seems like a lot of crappy stuff happened around then.

9. Now Optional - Dress up at work - Thank goodness.  that whole 'dress for success' thing was such a boondoggle.  just a way to keep suit sellers in business.  I've always said 'People trying to rip you off come in suits'.  Now, if you are keeping most of your body covered and you have a decent sense of hygiene, you're in.  Certain professions still require a suit, but the civilized world has devolved to business casual thanks. Many of those professions include Lawyer (if you are paying THAT much, he'd better at least look nice), Timeshare Sales (see my statement above about who is trying to rip you off), People managed by people that think suits are important but don't really know why.

8. Now Required- Fries - I remember just getting a burger.  no drink, no fries, no nothing else.  Just a burger.  They might ask 'would you like fries with that?'  and I'd say hmmm...yes please.  or the alternative.  Now, the question is 'Would you like that _______ Sized?' Where the blank is King, Super, Biggie, Gargantuan, Behemoth.  Of course the problem is, if you do the math on it, you aren't really saving much money, just calories.  I know they aren't really required, but it just seems like you have to ask to get them taken off the list.

7. Now Optional - Who asks who to a dance.  I've only noticed this because of my boys.  Allow me to put my old man voice on...Back in my day...a boy asked a girl out to the hoe down or the local cotillion.  On special occasions the girl may ask the boy on a dance called sadie hawkins when everything is topsy turvy. It seems that now dances lean in the favor of the boy being asked by the girl.  There are several differences between boys and girls but one of the differences that is not obvious is that given the chance to do nothing, most boys are perfectly willing to do just that.  Back when you had social norms enforcing actual movement on behalf of the boy, things worked out fairly evenly.  Now Guys just hang around perfectly willing to not do anything.  It may be the end of the species.

6. Now Required- Your lack of Privacy - Well this isn't completely true, but thanks to the Internet, events in your life were once optionally publicized.  Now, they are all over the place for everyone to see.  For a while we will try to protect our privacy as best we can, but new generations will not really know what privacy is like because they won't have any unless they go camping with no electronics.  It's strange for me to think of my kids as the last generation that had privacy of any sort.

5. Now Required - All of the points of any given legislation.  Those that know me know I lean right.  I'm afraid that I can't side with a lot of the things my brothers on the right are gunning for these days.  No compromise is a great way to get nothing done.  On the other hand, I'm not sure that's a bad thing.  I've never pictured the government to be good at much more than taking my money and doing things I probably don't approve of with it; if I knew what they were doing.  So in that respect they are no different than teenagers.  It just seems that if you can get 80% of what you want by giving up 20% of what you'd like, that's a good deal.

4. Now Optional - Hats.  Not those goofy knit wierdo hats you see the young jacka$$ crowd sporting.  But a fine fedora.  Time was that all men wore a fedora, even the bums.  They also dressed in suits and pants, not jeans and t-shirts.  I'm quite glad that I didn't find myself in that time.  I might have exploded.  This really is different than the dress up at work mentioned above.  I just realized that dressing up wasn't really just for work, but for every day sit around clothes as well.  Glad that's over.

3. Now Required- Standing Ovation - I'm not sure what happened, but Standing O's were reserved strictly for really really good performances.  Otherwise, you got some applause and off the stage with you.  Now, if you aren't giving up a Standing O(vation), you are likely some kind of ultra-right wing arts hating John Bircher.

 

2. Now Optional - Handshakes - Time was a mans word was his bond.  That bond was sealed by his handshake.  Now it seems that handshakes are really the worlds largest propagator of disease.  How sad is this?  The upcoming London Olympics are trying to abolish the good will handshake all together to prevent the spread of zombie bacteria.  Thank goodness, who needs Olympic Zombies.

1. Now Required- Food Server Tip - I tend to think that the tip was instituted to ensure good service from a service provider.  Now a tip is something that is so non-optional that they include it on the tab if there is a group of you and sometimes if it's just you and the meal is expensive.  Once you start including the tip on the tab, it's time to eliminate tips all together.  Just pay your servers more and increase the bill so when your server sucks we can find another way to show our disdain.


The future is ours, and our future resumes in 15 days.  Thanks for reading!

top 10 things about health care

I'm compelled to write this bit because I really can't seem to turn to any channel on TV without hearing about healthcare, townhall meetings and Paula Abdul. This list was originally formulated when my own father died, and has changed from time to time, but the content remains the same.

10. Good health is not a right - Most of these points are obvious like this one. For some reason, there are people out there that believe otherwise. We call these people...sick. We don't have a right to good health any more than we have a right to good food, or good entertainment. Careful analysis of the constitution will prove it. There are those that believe that the pursuit of happiness holds the key to health care for all. That if we are not healthy, how can we be happy? I know I'm less happy when I'm sick, but is it impossible for me to be happy? no. Life as a constitutional point is pretty strong. If I'm sick enough to die, then I've been deprived my constitutional right of life. Unfortunately, none of us will every enjoy the right of life indefinitely. At least not as we know it.




9. Doctors don't save lives as much as they postpone deaths. - Doctors will be the first to admit that we are all biological machines that tend to break down over time. The best and most healthy among us will fall to the ravages of time. Life saving techniques save lives in favor of an eventual later death. Doctors ultimate goal would of course be the unlimited perpetuation of what we know as life. They are not there yet, but every year gets us closer. Of course the more life we can extend, the more money that can be made from it. Immortality at the price of eternal servitude.









8. ANY health care plan will have to not cover stuff - nobody can plan to pay for everything that will happen to everyone. Insurance doesn't do it. Government won't be able to either. Anyone can say that the current health system is broken, but very few can say just how to fix it. If we are to have a national insurance that covers everyone, that insurance will have to decide what is covered and what isn't. There is no other way. Nothing can pay for everyone all the time. So how to decide. Well, you decide how old is old enough, and you decide which diseases are just to expensive to cover. Regular insurance has been doing this for ages and Government will have to do it as well. No matter what they say.









7. Doctors existed before insurance - Hippocrates, the originator of the Hippocratic oath designating that a doctor will 'do no harm' predated health insurance by about 2000 years. How did Doctors operate without a large pool of money that was administered for them? Well, they used to arrange payment with their patients (customers) and sometimes they would take payment in kind (barter) and other times they would give their services for free. They were free to make the decisions of their profession without hindrance. Then in the 1850's the first forms of health insurance began to rear their heads. Slowly but surely, Insurance has become a fixture and somehow transmogrified into a necessity. Now, if you don't have insurance, it's as big a tragedy as if you can't read. I grew up in a household that never had insurance. I guess I'm still alive to tell the tale. Who knew?



6. Fear is nearly as expensive as Ignorance - Fear and Ignorance are closely related, but Ignorance edges fear out for the most expensive state of mind. Fear though is usually born of ignorance and is therefore a very close second. If we fear the possibility/inevitability of getting sick or in-firmed, then we will pay to stave that off. This is how insurance really gets you. Because insurance is based on the fear of a catastrophic illness bankrupting you and your family. There was a time though, when Doctors would do their best and charge you for the work they rendered and that was it. Now, doctors have to ask permission of the health care provider of their particular patient. That provider will tell the doctor what is covered and what is not. Your Doctor then decides what to recommend based on what Insurance will cover. We need a more nationalized version of that. It sounds really good.

5. Doctors used to make house calls and drive sensible cars. - You come to them and they still drive sensible cars. If they are family practitioners. The specialists of course are the ones making a lot of money and driving those fancy cars. It's not that what they do isn't valuable, but the ability to make money has been enhanced over time. Back in the day, a doctor had to go do school and then just went into practice depending on the states individual rules governing the practice of medicine. the amount of schooling and effort and knowledge needed to become a physician has grown to a gargantuan size. There is no way they don't deserve what they make. On the other hand, will the free market actually be able to pay for their skills if all that is needed is to stitch up a cut?

4. Insurance has never produced anything - Bernie Madoff, what a bastard. This guy took peoples money into the worlds largest pyramid scheme ever devised. The idea is simple. you get a few people to give you say 100 dollars, then you promise them say 10 percent of that investment every month rain or shine. Mind you, that 10 percent is about 8 percent better than anything else around. So every month you pay out 10 percent to the investors and they tell their friends about this great investment scheme and how they need to get into it. It gets bigger and bigger. Bernie gets a big pool of money and pays off everyone every month and keeps getting more and more investors. Sure the rest of the country is making 2 percent but they are suckers and you are a financial genius because you are tight with Bernie. Well, you know the rest of the story. The pyramid never was money invested in anything but paying off the old investors at the expense of the new. Now just replace Bernie with Insurance Companies and change 8 percent to health care coverage and you get the idea. Like those poor saps that got their money to Bernie at the end of his illustrious career. The only difference is you could conceivably pay and pay into a system and never collect, and the insurance companies have to put their profits somewhere, like buildings because as long as there are more people there can be more insurance.

3. The Government really thinks that Healthcare reform is a great deal...for you - So the Feds want to 'give' us health care reform because they think it's SOOOOOOO important. Why aren't they reforming their own health care that we the taxpayer pay for? It seems that if we want them to be serious about what they are giving us, the US should include THEM. What's wrong with that? I'm not sure, but it seems that they are unwilling to do that. I'm sure there is a very high minded and lofty reason that they don't participate in any of the programs they have devised for we the people. Nope, they have government retirement, not social security, they have their own insurance not Medicare. Really the best health care reform you can get is by getting yourself elected to congress. Then you can really enjoy a good system at work. BAH!





2. If it weren't for Insurance, you couldn't afford to pay for it yourself....WRONG - This is more an indictment of lazy people than it is another jab at insurance. But for those of you that are playing at home. lets do an experiment. Add up all of your insurance premiums over the years of working and then add in the amount of health care you have used. Now when you are playing this game, remember. If you have to pay 300-500 dollars for insurance your Employer must pay in the neighborhood of 900 - 1200 for you as well. So add that in. After all, this money is money that your employer is spending on your behalf. The argument against this is. Well my employer would never pay me 1200 dollars a month to do my same job. My answer is. They already do. They just give it to you in insurance. Add it all up over the course of say 5 years and then add in all of the bills less how much you made in a copay (because you payed that all ready). If you really want to have fun with it. pretend you put that amount in the bank and apply say 2% interest to it over those 5 years. Yes, I know, there ARE people for whom their ailments are financially destructive. However, NOBODY calls insurance charity on any side of it and I can guarantee that those people that have insurance and need it, are still financially decimated.

1. Genuinely Free markets drive the price of everything down to it's lowest point. - It's a natural fact. The best example of this is Multi-Level Marketing. Since everyone can be a distributor for whatever product it is. there is too much product and so people that are in the MLM buy product and give it away to friends just to keep their activity and hopes for millions alive. Medicine has been out of a free market for a long time. Why? for a couple of reasons. Insurance tells Doctors what to charge, and people think insurance equals free. Between these two things, people do not care at all that they are putting a burden on the system. People do not shop for medical care in the same way they shop for cars. they go in because they need help. Price is no object my good man, I have insurance. If insurance didn't exist OR if people were forced to administer their own insurance claims, there would be MUCH more competition in the marketplace. But people are both stupid and lazy on this point. After all, if they are sick, the last thing they want to worry about is paying the doctor and getting paid from the insurance company (another whole issue with insurance is the getting paid. Sheesh). Besides if a really good doctor and a mediocre doctor are both doctors and give the same care right? Well insurance says they do, so it must be, and IS true.

So we think that the Government controlling insurance and health care is a good idea? really?! So far the only thing that I can think of that would make health care affordable is to eliminate insurance or at least make it only administer-able by the patient. Create lawsuit reform that dictates that loser must pay for the court costs etc (thereby eliminating frivolous lawsuits and encouraging out of court settlements at a lower cost).