Christmas LIES (warning Santa spoilers)

Good old Santa.  That pudgy purveyor of unrealistic expectations and capitalism.  A near perfect metaphor for strong central government.  Big red makes promises to the children that we as adults have to come through with.  Then that bum gets the credit (works hard one day a year...sheesh).  Pretty big scam.  We are constantly telling our kids about the value of truth etc, but we start them off with this big whopper.  Like so many lies, there are several facets to them.  Like...

- Jesus' Birthday - The only reason I bring this up at all is the really funny nativity scene where Santa is kneeling and praying at the manger of new baby Jesus.  Yikes.  Well, by any and all counts, we find that Jesus was likely born around the spring time, pretty close to Easter.  Seems like we already have a holiday there and the Pagans were feeling left out with the winter solstice so we have a new birthday there to celebrate. (don't even get me STARTED about the Easter bunny).

- News reports - Lets start with the news.  We all know that journalism has been on a death spiral since the internet, but this problem has been around since there was televised news it seems.  Reports of Santa's whereabouts coming in every 1/2 hour or so are fake, every bit of it.  Everyone knows that the real Santa isn't going to be seen doing his job.  In fact the REAL Santa has some kind of crazy stealth technology or something since there has never been a sighting of any non criminal bearded men standing on any roofs that weren't later apprehended by authorities.

- Santa's Helpers - What a crock.  Santa's imposters is more like it.  There you are at the shopping center looking for Christmas goodies and there he is 'Santa'.  Some are drunker than others, but they are all fakes.  When I was a young believer, I was told that those are Santa's helpers because he didn't have time to be everywhere taking down Christmas wishes, he had to keep an eye on those good for nothing elves so everyone will get their presents.


- Elves - We've all seen elves.  They are blonde, nearly immortal and impervious to temperature changes if Peter Jackson and J.R.R. Tolkien have anything to say about it.  Well it seems these are not the elves we are looking for.  The elves we are talking about here are the tiny elves probably with green hats that make them look like miniature Robin Hoods sans bow.  Because it's WAY out of the realm of possibility to think that Santa, who can zip around the world in 24 hours, can make all of his own toys.  Nope, he has a factory full of indentured servants that are not only expert wood workers, but are masters of knocking off nearly anything that can currently be manufactured in China except for EVEN cheaper.  After all, Santa's givin the stuff away!  Nope, no elves, no factory.  They've been all over the north pole.  no evidence of these little green trouble makers.  Speaking of trouble makers...

- Elf on the shelf -  Whoever came up with this bit of keen suffering should be shot.  What kind of world do we live in where we tell children that clearly inanimate objects suddenly will come to life?  I'll tell you what kind of world.  One where there is NO expectation of privacy!  All this stinking elf is, is a surrogate for the NSA.  Always watching me.  Always reporting on me.  BAH!





- Santa tracker app - Oh great, so the news isn't enough.  We have all kinds of media telling us all kinds of things.  Google Santa Tracker and Santa tracker apps for our phones?!?  Geeze.  Why do we need this technological reinforcement?!?  The rest of it should be plenty.  On the other hand if you don't have him in your technology, kids might get wise and we wouldn't want that.   It's probably tracking your movements anyway.  Just an electronic Elf in your pants.

- Other Santas helpers - You know these more than willing helpers.  Your local independent retailer.  They are the most vested in continuing this farce.  After all, If we didn't have a holiday and a Jolly old man relying on your continued overspending to keep it going how would these partners in advertising crime get into the black every year??? We all know that no parents would ever get their kids anything ever if it weren't for Santa.  Parent's don't even like their kids much.  Oh wait, that's probably a big fat lie too.

- Livestock - Reindeer are really the most used, but they become integral.  It's just not good enough that Santa gets 'round the world in 24 hours.  We have to have an explanation.  You know, something plausible like flying Reindeer.  Then THOSE weren't good enough.  We had to get one with a glowing nose that helped the other flying reindeer see through the bad winter storm (you're telling me it isn't snowing somewhere on the earth every year round December 25?).  For a while stores would get a reindeer to stand there with Santa so that you could get your picture taken with Dasher.  That ends up being more trouble than it's worth so they will just take Santa showing up in his 1975 VW Dasher.

- Santa's List - So it's not enough that we have this intruder wandering around our house while we are knocked out, eating our cookies, and scaring our pets.  He's got a list.  A BIG list.  You see, Santa doesn't like all the kids.  Only the good ones.  So Santa's list seems like an innocent enough lie but think about it.  Santa is deciding if you are good or bad enough to get his magic presents.  How is he doing it?  Well he's using his willing stool pigeons the parents or that stinking snitch elf.  So now not only do you have to buy presents and give the credit to the corpulent crimson curmudgeon, but if the kids don't get what they want, Santa heard they were bad and if they put 2 and 2 together, they know Mom and dad turned North Pole's evidence.

- Santa of course - Well the bottom line is this dude and the tales told about him all over the Western world.  Cultures love their mythological icons, but wow, this Santa guy has been all over the place.  Father Christmas, Sint Nicklaas, Kris Kringle he goes by many names, but the one we know in America is the one our Coca Cola bottler gave us.  Of course Santa would drink Coke in America It makes perfect sense.  Ever since, we have counted on that image and that myth to get us through the winter months.  Usually around age 7 or so, we figure out that he's cut from whole cloth, but you are entreated to keep that secret from your younger siblings being the first time you are included as a part of the conspiracy.  I personally never remember thinking that the presents in the morning were from anyone but mom and dad anyway.  But then you enjoy the tradition so much that you take it as your own with your own kids.  Or at least some part of it.

Do I think you should all stop telling these Holiday lies?  No, they make the season fun and honestly, isn't winter hard enough to get through?  Just another subject that tickled my brain is all.  Happy Holidays Merry Christmas Brilliant Hanukkah Festive Kwanza and any other holiday greeting I didn't include.  

10 Elements to Better Governance

Government.  Those of you that know me know that I fall under the category of mostly libertarian.  What does that mean?  It means that I'm not a fan of strong federal government and a big fan of individual rights and responsibility.  Now this is all fine and well.  I don't do much with my political beliefs, in fact about all I do is vote.  So I started to think.  What would make government better and better serve the people?  Well...

10. Who doesn't like to party?! - The 2 party system (You know, the Red Republicans and the Blue Democrats) seems to be really counter productive.  Every 4 years, the nation engages in the world's largest team sport called the national election.  You get 2 teams, we'll call them parties.  Each party then proceeds to play a game of miniscule examination of candidates. This game is silly because we have to assume that any individual is going to be human and therefore always susceptible to bad press.  At the same time, the citizenry plays an equally silly game where they point at the faults and even more laughable, sit and claim that they are 'undecided'  right up to the last minute.  In the end, after all the votes have been counted and new leadership has been installed the same things happen in government.  Excuses for what promises won't be fulfilled, and more money spent in an effort to expand government oversight into everything.  Many other countries have multiple parties that run for election.  What this gives them is a more diverse selection of political philosophies instead of 2 philosophies that have become so intermingled in practice that it doesn't really matter who you vote for.  What it takes away is a clear majority.  Usually an election with many parties ends with a plurality instead of a clear majority.  At this point, that's a price I'm willing to pay.

9. Easy Information - I've always said that the weight of communication is 80% on the side of the person that wants to convey an idea.  It's not only important to have the forum for communication, but to also have the expertise to use that communication.  That being said, the other 20% is every bit as important.  The receivers of that information need to be able to listen and understand the information.  The difference between the sender and the receiver of a given message has been increased by a few things.  First, those that communicate have changed the nature of the communication from one of earnest ideas to that of semi-honest sound bites.  Human nature is such that these small sound bites are easier to digest and therefore have a greater impact.  Unfortunately this poisons most that listen because that is all they will hear.  All of the truth of a candidate could be exposed in a non biased form on the internet and yet most people will not even try to look much less overcome their own bias in order to see who they actually agree with the most.  While this is very important unfortunately I find that there is no good answer.  This is a case of trying to force the horse to drink.

8. Independent Currency - Currently, every currency is dictated by it's country of origin.  The exception to this is the Euro which is a currency based on several governments that all agree in principal to the economic direction and trade agreements of the group.  I have mentioned Bitcoin in the past and I believe that it is an important example of how future currency should be executed.  The important part of independent currency is that government can not simply print more money when they want to spend more.  Governments in charge of their own currency that decide to print more, devalue the money in citizen's savings as well as build a culture of financial irresponsibility.  This is a much more complicated question than what I have presented, but I would like you to read the rest of this blog so I will stop here.  I discuss Bitcoin more in a separate blog post.

7. Single Timezone Voting - We have idiotic rules about each state trying to be the FIRST state to vote and when they will vote.  This was probably important when communication was largely transmitted by birds and horses.  Now we have the power to execute all votes at the same time.  Lets just allow the vote to occur for the same time frame across the country and end at the same time UTC.  I understand that in some places that will be really late and in other places that will be really early, but that's ok because it won't allow the NEWS to start reporting returns until EVERYONE is done voting.  Poor Hawaii...poor poor Hawaii.

6. Automatic legal sundown - This is more about the laws that govern our land.  It seems we make more and more and depend on the legacy of those judicial decisions to determine the legal standing of a current ruling.  This is all fine and well, except technology in many cases has outstripped our legal systems ability to keep up with the rulings.  Lawyers make a lot of money in researching ancient legal precedent to continue our legal system.  If we determine that laws must have an automatic expiration date, we would force legislators to both  keep an idea of what laws are still worthwhile and what laws are better left dead.  Laws that are allowed to exist unchecked give us eventual legal mutations that are hard to comprehend.

5. Vote alteration -  Allow the electorate to change their mind over time.  This will require internet voting.  NO! you say.  The Internet is too insecure!  There is too much potential for voter fraud!  This is an OUTRAGE!.  To this I say, poppycock and falderal.   The voting system should be engineered through an open source project that will allow for public oversight.  Then voting can be executed any time during the year that campaigning is allowed.  The question of voting booths are as simple as internet access, and votes can be changed right up to the deadline outlined in number 7.  Those of you that think the internet is too insecure and too easily hacked have been watching too much CSI.  If the internet is SO horrible at security, why do we trust our financial commerce with it?  What about regular voter fraud?  You know, like where dead people vote?  Allowing us to change our vote over time allows us to vote ahead of time and not worry about losing out.  We save money on the whole absentee voter nonsense.  We have a chance to think about what we are voting for and pay attention to our second thoughts.

4. Powerful Local Government - This is more about moving the overbearing power of the Fed back to the states.  Yes yes, Shay's rebellion and all that are important, I'm not saying that we remove federal power all together.  But I AM saying that federal power has LONG overstepped it's bounds.  The more powerful local government is, the more each states decisions tend to stand out.  If you live in a state you don't agree with, you could move to one that does things a different way.  At this point every state more or less tastes the same and there is very little diversity in governance.

3. Complete Transparency - All of this talk about spying on the US citizens is running in the wrong direction. Individual citizens don't have much power as it is.  Being afraid of citizens seems to be the characteristic of an entity that realizes that it has too much power and is afraid that it will lose it.  Since we talk about the powers that the NSA/CIA/FBI has, lets bring those powers to bear on our elected officials.  Every elected official would agree to give up ALL privacy.  Everything they say and do is available for scrutiny by the public.  We certainly have the means to look at all of their emails and cell phone transmissions.  All elected officials would be required to carry two enabled smart phones and every conversation they have should be recorded.  This would solve the problem of PACs as well as bad corporate influence.  I suspect that once you do this, you eliminate the need for term limits because everyone would agree that if a politician is doing what the public wants and still wants to serve...let em!

2. 16th Amendment needs to go - The ability for a government to take your money and force you to work on their behalf is not patriotic, it's slavery.  The IRS has already been seen to be at least a little corrupt in practice if not in concept.  The latest revelations not withstanding the IRS has been a sharp toothed Pit Bull on the leash of government for a long time.  This corruption goes back to Nixon and likely beyond.  Really, the TSA and the HSA could also take a hike as they are VERY expensive for what we are getting.

1.  No Electoral College - What in the WORLD is this here for?  Like time zones for the vote this was a good idea when you couldn't really count all the votes up and get everything together.  The electoral college gives disproportionate power to states with low populations.  This allows the President to be elected based on the state instead of popular consensus.  This is probably wrong these days.  If we put into place my other ideas, the Electoral College is an anachronism and needs to be buried.




If the IRS/CIA/NSA/FBI/HSA stops me from publishing this blog and I become mysteriously missing...Tell my story.