Showing posts with label Old. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Old. Show all posts

Monday, July 6, 2015

10 Ages

This is simply the 10 ages of a person.  Since I've found myself at the door of another birthday I realized that there are only 2 hands full of significant birthdays. Exactly.  10, no more no less.   Of course I'll have reasons why.  It's what I do.

-- birth - Obviously the single most important birthday of your life.  Not much more can be said about it except you won't remember any of it.  nope, not a thing.  you may have vague songs or pictures that may spur a deja vu-ish kind of recollection but really you'll have nothing.  On the other hand you are doing so much learning every day you don't even know all of the things you are doing when you are just a newborn.  Sure you are dependent on everyone, but on the other hand pretty much everyone loves you.  Nothing wrong with that.

-- 2-4 ish - At this point just absorbing information ambiently has kind of run it's course.  Yes, you are still doing that, but now you are more interested in all of the things there are around you.  Things like electrical outlets and power tools.  Also you are creating internal profiles for people you like and don't like.  You are not at all concerned with peoples feelings, just your own.  So Grandma gives me lots o presents, oh yeah, she's great.  Aunt kisses me too much?  ummm...yeah, i'll pass.  You're walking and possibly talking as well as causing trouble that you don't understand but you roll with it.  From here on out, you are just getting better and better at being a kid.  You are ok with mom and dad's rules, but you think there might be too many of them.  All of these birthdays just kind of melt together.  Really it's more of a personal payday than anything.  Of course Christmas is the other payday, but everyone gets that.

-- 13 - Well you are a teenager now.  Really the larval stage of becoming an adult.  You are really interested in being an adult but you kind of go here and there with your experiences.  Your teenage years will be among your most memorable.  If you are lucky, some of the friends you make in the next few years will be among your best.  Full of firsts and achievements.  Now you're thinking independently and starting to weigh consequences v.s. your decisions.  Getting in trouble isn't enough to dissuade you from trying some things.  The next few years you will be able to do a lot to forward or retard your progress as an adult. You start this series of years likely being very much yourself and end this bunch of years figuring out what your adult face is going to look like.  How you will behave around others v.s. around family or friends.  You learn by trial and error; this can be among the cruelest of years with plenty being both dealt and received.

-- 18 - Also known as the legal age of majority (except in Alabama, Nebraska, and Mississippi where the ages are 19, 19, and 21), lots of reasons this is significant.  Up until now, you have been more or less not responsible for your crimes.  Instead of sending you to prison for doing something wrong, they send you to a youth facility where you will hopefully pull yourself out of your tailspin.  On the other hand it's also significant because you can vote!  Sure it doesn't mean much to you, but it's time to be more aware of the world around you.  By now you are ready to ditch the burger flipping jobs and get into something a little more career like.  You may or may not further your education, but whatever you do, you have probably at least partially cut the apron strings to your parents.  You feel much more ready for life than you actually are, but now you have what it takes to do it.  Remember this feeling of semi-bewilderment.  It's one you'll have most of your life, but you will only feel it as strongly as you do right now as you are considered an adult.

-- 21 - Fast on the heels of 18, 21 is the age at which nothing that is legal is barred from you (except you will find that renting cars is still surprisingly difficult)  You can do it all, you can gamble, you can own stuff easily, you are fully responsible for yourself.  The world assumes you've got enough on the ball that you should be able to do all kinds of things.  Really the only thing that makes it different than 18 is 3 years and drinking (In most states, some will let you get away with it younger) and gambling.  Neither of these pursuits are particularly grand.  Once tried a couple of times you should probably realize that they are both more expensive than you like and not nearly as exciting as they are cracked up to be.







-- 26 - While nobody ever threw you a 26th birthday party as though it was something special, 26 is the age at which they estimate that your brain stops developing.  Also, it's the age at which you will get lower insurance rates depending on your insurer as well as that all important being able to rent a car thing.  26 is a bigger deal than people let on because it's the point at which you have really no excuses left for the life you are leading.  If it's not what you like, you can still turn it around.  This is also the age at which you are starting to get out of shape and you never realized how it happened.  Your youth is starting to leave you and you aren't sure that you like it, but for the most part you can ignore it.  You're still young.  Enjoy it!

-- 40 - Wow, so there were no important days in the 30s?  Not really no.  You are hopefully an adult earning a living.  You may or may not be married but honestly there is nothing special about being in your 30's except that you aren't 20.  So what makes 40 so special?  A friend of mine told me that at 40 you are the young of the old.  Look at it this way, the average age around here is 80 (acutally 79, but the closer you get the more you hope, right?)  so 40 is the 1/2 way point.  You stop understanding what is going through the heads of those 20 year olds and you wish they would learn about the things you know about.  Everything you did when you were young was a little better in some ways and a little worse in others, but you are at the age that people start paying attention to your life experience.  That's not as true if you are living on welfare in a trailer, not that you don't have life experience, but you are more of a road map of what not to do.

-- 50 - What's the big deal about 50?  Well up till now, your bodily injuries were probably fixable one way or another and they people you knew in high school, you could probably know now.  Possibly one or two deaths that happen because of accidents or congenital troubles.  But now you are starting to see people die that just decided to live long term bad decisions.  You know, all the stuff they keep nagging you about, no exercise and eating crap like you are 20, well that chicken is going to start coming home to roost.  It will still be considered a young death, but you'll hear about them more and more.  Hopefully you got into your healthier lifestyle in your 40's if not maintained it since your youth.  Bad news.  From here on out pretty much everything you used to do without thinking about it becomes a thought exercise in survival.  Example.  If you are in your late 20s and you happen to have a couple of kids, you probably took them to Disneyland and you walked the park and rode the rides and a good time was had by all.  Now, you think about going to Disneyland and all you can think about is if your feet and back can take it.  The last time you want to your local carnival, you thought you might have kinked your neck on the ferris wheel.  Every activity that doesn't include sitting in your basement and watching TV is evaluated on a risk reward basis.  That's not all, you are starting to realize that a lot of things just don't work the same way.  I'll be kind and limit this to your eyes and hearing.  yep, they are starting to go.  Can't hear a LOT Of the sounds you could hear in your youth and your vision has become blurry at best.  At 50 you start reading about medical advancements with a LOT more interest.

-- 65 - Retirement!  Yipee!  or at least it's when you are supposed to retire.  If you didn't take part in some of your employment 401k then you are probably  just looking at 65 with the thought that it's getting harder and harder for you to be hired.  You find it's harder to learn new things (that old dog new trick thing wasn't just fooling around) you also find that there isn't much more you can do.  You feel like the grasshopper that's been laughing at the ants.  Well those ants are the ones laughing now.  So you take your Social Security and realize that there just isn't much there.  So you end up looking for the same jobs you looked for when you were in your 20's something that just pays enough but isn't too taxing.  You'd rather stop being in charge of anything and just do as you're told and draw a check.  On the other hand if you WERE the ant, you notice that your grasshopper friends all think that you shouldn't be able to take the money that you had forcibly taken from your paycheck and you should gladly give it to them.  That seems fair right?  Well at 65, you can go on and on (and often do) about what's fair and right etc.  You find that parts of you are sounding a lot like you did as a teenager.

-- ?? - This age isn't quite as definite.  In fact, it appears to be optional.  Sorry to end this blog on a downer, but...You see there is a point in your life at which you are no longer vibrant.  Either through disease or inaction, you can feel your clock winding down.  You just wake up with the aches and pains of life and the stack of medications that you have to down every day and you realize that you are just a walking bunch of trouble.  It should be noted that this age only happens when you literally can't do anything that you like anymore.  At some point when you go to the hospital, you will stop expecting to come out better, if at all.  From what I've seen there are a few people that stave this age off by remaining active and interested in things.  They let their interest push them through the pain.  Easy to say if you aren't in that situation, it's just what I've heard.  Apparently Bingo is one of these activities.

Geeze Mark, that was a real downer.  Yeah, I know.  Life has to be taken as a whole and the sum of all of it's parts not each part by itself.  If you aren't living the life you have like you would like, then make your changes.  The only good changes are the ones you make yourself.  All of those other changes people keep telling you are good?  Yeah, they are liars and their pants are on fire.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

10 Differences between old TV and new TV

New and old.  The good old days.  New fangled.  Everything seems to have changed. Not the least of which is TV.  Our main source of entertainment in the 70's and 80's is still a major source of entertainment now.  But it has changed a LOT.  We just might not have noticed it.  Imagine if you came from 1979 to visit now and watch some TV.

10.  Wow is that big! -  The first thing that would strike our time traveler would be the sheer size of the tv.  Back in the day, a REALLY big tv was 35 inches and it weighed upwards of 150 lbs or more.  Glass tubes and phosphors.  It was dangerous to sit close to the TV what with the radiation and all (wives tale).  Now, big lightweight screens that show more colors than the eye can see.  Our friends of the past would be amazed.  Not only is it big, but everything is produced on a much more polished scale.  Everything looks bigger AND looks better.  The next generation of TV's will be upwards of 120 inches and show more colors than is actually possible for your eyes to see.

9.  Lots of gray areas -  Now that we are watching TV we find that it's harder to tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys.  The only white and black hats to be had now are computer hackers.  Back then, good guys were very good without more than one flaw.  Usually that they got mad too fast.  Tv used to be about showing us how we wanted to see ourselves.  Now TV is often about showing us what we don't really want to see, but can't look away from.




8.  How many channels are there? - If you have cable or satellite TV, you have more channels than there are hours in a week.  You get more channels on Air TV as well, but not many are watchable.  This was a long running joke, but now they aren't channels anymore, they are other things like Netflix and Hulu that come through other devices and play on your TV.



7.  Why isn't anyone watching TV? - One word, INTERNET  Kids don't even bother watching TV.  They are more about games and YouTube or Vine or whatever the flavor of the month is for sharing media.  Everyone wants to be known for something and it's more interesting for the kids to watch that than stupid tv shows.  When I was a kid, everyone had the fleeting idea that they could be a star and famous.  Now, you can be, just to a smaller audience, but anyone can go 'viral' and without an agent!  So who needs TV?  Besides, everyone likes to watch cats anyway.

6.  Is everything police Shows? -  Apparently someone decided that Police shows were the only ones that were interesting at all.  So now all shows are police dramas?  Well, not everything, but most things.  There are one or two doctor shows and a couple of comedies about dumb people.  But everything else is Police Investigators.  They have better technology than we can have for another 10 years at least and they solve every crime and the criminal is always the right guy, unless they find him early in the show and then it's the wrong guy.









5.  Is this for real? -  Sorry I said Police shows.  The OTHER TV programming is the reality TV show.  In the 70's and 80's they didn't have a name for reality TV, they called it things like Battle of the Network stars and That's Incredible! and Variety shows like Carol Burnett.  All of those go away and now we have gritty regular looking people doing things that don't look that interesting if you do it, but when they do it!  Wow, it's captivating.  To some people.  Of course, it's all scripted.  Not by words, but by action.  They will set up situations so the real people will look the way the producers want them to.  Everyone's life is more interesting if you get to edit it.

4.  Lawyers and drugs didn't exist in the 70's - Back then, tv commercials consisted of Beer, and Cars.  A rather surprising combination.  Well, today the majority of the commercials are Drugs and Lawyers.  Hmm...yet another surprising combination.







3.  I just started liking that show, where is it? - Networks don't let a lot of grass grow anymore when a show doesn't hit the top of the charts right off the bat, they pull it harder than a punk teenager pulls a fire alarm. Sometimes they will let the story run to the end of the season but not often.  Of course technology has made this a lot easier and cost effective.  Remember, they don't care if YOU like it.  They care if ALL of you like it.










2.  These commercials go on forever! - 1982, the first infomercial for a product guaranteed to promote hair growth took a whole slot of programming.  In 1984 the FCC took restrictions away from commercials that made it easier and more legal to push whole blocks of time dedicated to sales.  Originally TV shows were crafted by the sponsors to be a showcase for their product.  Then networks separated out the commercials from the entertainment.  Now, rather than showing TV reruns on off peak times and paying syndication fees, the networks will show infomercials and get advertising money.






1.  Hey they have the TV I'm used to on! - Everything old is new again.  So now that TV has shifted so much from what it was there is a whole new category of TV network.  The nostalgia networks!  There are several of them.  MeTV, AntennaTV, Cozi TV.  They all rerun the hit shows of the 50's through the 80's.  Sure, they have commercials.  Mobility Scooters, supplemental Medicare insurance, end of life insurance and Adult protective underwear.   Hey, I didn't think I was THAT old!  Well, I'm not getting any younger.





There's my latest.  I appreciate all of your eyes reading my thoughts!


Saturday, March 1, 2008

Top 10 Disappointing Realizations

You get born and you figure your life will follow pretty much a set path and everything is gonna be the way you see it. You actually really feel this way at about 12 and you are constantly surprised at the things that surprise you. So here we go.

10. The Circle of Life - This is a hard realization because you never know when you are going to have to make it. The problem is puppies and kitties are cute and lovable, you get them for your kids and before they are even out of the house Rex or Mittens is pushing up daisies. Now you have to tell them a story cut from whole cloth because you don't know whether or not you really know what you are talking about, but you really hope that you are convincing enough that your child doesn't feel THAT bad. Of course, the alternative is that you tell them that everyone dies sooner or later that that's the way it goes. Yuck, I don't like it and I already know it.

9. The movies and TV are not only fake, but most of the stuff they do can't be done. - I SO wanted the Jame Bond lotus that would turn into a submarine as well as a really fast car, and If I ever needed to, I could probaly hack into a high security computer in a matter of seconds and say 'I'm in!'. I later found out that not only did spys not drive flashy sports cars, but that they were usually non-descript non-exciting non James Bond guys like the Computer TA in my high school. *SIGH*













8. Nobody is naturally anything except for Idiot Savants - That's right, if you want to be good at anything, you have to work very hard at it. So much that when people say 'well, you're just naturally _____' you just want to hit them. Yeah, Naturally along with hundreds of hours of practice. But as a kid, I was certain that there was some talent I had that I would have but to simply discover it. Then I would be the toast of the town and on the Talk Shows and then chicks would dig me. I'm still lookin.










7. Your Mom and Dad are just regular people - This is sad twice one. Sad when you realize it about your parents, and sad when your kids realize it about you.

















6. You actually have to work for a living - This one sucks. As a kid, you know that money is worth something, but you really don't know what. Those fake jobs your folks give you are either way too well paid or not paid nearly enough. Besides, they give you what you need for NOTHING, and it's good stuff. The cereal with a cool prize, the good bread. When you realize that you have to work your butt off just to make 2 dollars over minimum and that it actually takes a shocking amount of money to keep yourself out of mom and dad's basement. It SUCKS. Yes, I know, there are some people out there that will never have to work a day in their lives. Look at Paris Hilton. That's another problem with this realization. You probably do have to work for a living, but someone out there never had to at all. great.

5. Your Mom and Dad actually had to do it to have you - Lets just not think about this one ok? This gets even worse if your parents want to start talking about it. I'm perfectly ok with being an immaculate conception.
















4. It's very likely that you won't like your job - The illustration that I attached to this pretty much tells the tale. The caption that goes under the girl is

remember guys somewhere some guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap

except the hot girl is a Job. and no matter what your job is, no matter how perfect it is for you, eventually you will be bothered by it...A LOT. That's if you're lucky and you are with people you like. Many times, the job is actually not a hot supermodel, but a mangy rabid badger.







3. You're not young anymore. - It usually happens the first time a young man or woman calls you 'sir' or 'ma'am'. Ick. This one is horrible because it's like a bill you can't afford to pay. It keeps calling you and nagging you and telling you that tomorrow it will come again. Soon your joints are telling you, the mirror is telling you, the subscription cards to AARP are telling you.














2. Girls (or guys) see sex COMPLETELY differently - Yeah, this one is a real eye opener, especially for the guys. Girls pretty much figure it out because how their sexual identities are completely jammed down their throats by TV. Guys unfortunately see the same things on TV and believe it's true. You're lucky if it's true at any point during your relationship, even for 5 minutes. In terms of sex, I've always said that what a guy wants most in a girl is EXACTLY what a girl doesn't want in a guy. To be able to lie convincingly.


1. Santa - That Fat SOB isn't real?!? Here's the biggest disappointment in the big fat man. When you're a kid, you realize that you don't have any pressure against your folks because THEY are the Clause, and you gotta start towing the line. When you're an adult, you realize that here you are putting the sweat into the presents and the Fat man gets all the credit. Santa wins twice and in the end, you are just an elf.




Till next time!