- I'm never shopping at Walmart - There are a few of these people that proudly proclaim that they don't shop at Walmart. This lone voice in an overwhelming wilderness ends up being drowned out by the sound of people stepping into the store to cash in on their every day low prices. Is Walmart a giant corporation devoid of conscience and willing to kill any mom and pop shop that stands in their way? Probably. On the other hand, I've never been that thrilled with the mom and pop shop. Really, you go in and they don't have much to offer. Higher prices, smaller selection, and usually someone running you out of the store if you don't buy something. Go into Walmart and you can loiter around pretty much all day as long as you don't cause trouble. By trouble I mean try to organize a union, apparently they aren't too keen on that.
- I'm not Giving Disney 1 more dime - Disney has successfully positioned themselves to sell entertainment and merchandise to children from birth till they decide they are old enough to not like Disney's merchandise. That average age is around 82. They will start telling stories about how evil Disney is as a corporation (you know because a company's main objective is to make money and they are really good at doing that and if you are good at doing that, then you must be evil). They will then tell you some story about how they were accosted by Disney goons after making a scene at the Carnation Pavilion, something about real animal fur being used for B'rer Fox's outfit. So you spend the rest of your vacation days over at Universal Studios. Good for you.
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- Libertarians - Poor Libertarians. They like and don't like either political party very much. They stand for an independent mode of thought. They thumb their collective noses at both political parties and proudly proclaim ownership of the TRUE spirit upon which this country was founded. Freedom First! Open Government, Open Elections! Among the many phrases uttered by the Libertarian. They claim the fastest growth of any political party anywhere! This is where it becomes important to see that percentages for point in time numbers can be particularly misleading. Honestly unless both other candidates are convicted felons, there is a small chance that the Libertarian candidate will be elected. People don't like them. They just don't fit in with the rest of the red and blue sheep. I stand with them. I agree with their political philosophy. I find both the Red and the Blue to be so completely self righteous and misguided that neither of them are good for this country. Kick. Kick.
- Well I'll show them...- The generic catch all of the disgruntled customer against brand X whatever it is. This really isn't kicking though unless you actually do something about it. Say you are still getting a bill from the Columbia record house music club for that 1985 Scritti Politti album you forgot to mail in the bill for and you now have a dark mark on your credit history (STILL). They have you dead to rights since your little brother melted that vinyl album you didn't want in the microwave before you could send it back. So you send them their money on a postdated check in that prepaid envelope. The final kick is you glue that envelope to a cinder block so they will have to pay at least as much as you owe in the postage. That'l show them!
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- We aren't watching TV/Internet - I'm not talking about cable cutters. That trend appears to be succeeding over time. I'm talking about the folks in the 70's and 80's that claim they didn't watch TV. 'Not in MY home!!!' Their kids were always weird with a capital W. Social misfits at best. The analog to those people are the 'NO INTERNET IN MY HOUSE' people. Same idea. They don't want to be connected. They may have more reason than their Mennonite for bearers since the internet is now all about information gathering. Some people are tired of the Internet or 'the beast' as they lovingly refer to it, knowing about their every move and desire. And yet the terrific opportunities for everything that comes from the internet appears to outweigh the inconvenience of no privacy for most of us. But they will proudly proclaim their ignorance to the Internet among other people gladly chatting with each other about the latest cat video.
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- I'm going on a diet - This kick is against your own body. Your body has told you time and again, It LIKES fats and sugars and salts and it DOES NOT like exercise. It's not at all subtle about this message. Every time you get up from your plate of rice cakes and carrots, it crys out for a round of frito's and chocodiles. Every time you get up to exercise it begs you to go to bed instead. For most of us, the dedication of healthy lifestyle can usually be summed up by vanity. If your vanity is big enough you will continue to be healthy because for you health is a competition. For the rest of us, it's an eventual losing battle.
- I am fighting this traffic ticket!!! - There you are going down the road just humming along. You notice a speed limit sign and you wonder if it applies to you. Then you see the gumball machine. The local constabulary has decided to unfairly target you for going over the speed limit by 8 miles. You are indignant! you were going 10 over and he cut it down to 8, why couldn't he just let you off?? Well you won't stand for this!!! You are going to fight this ticket. In fact, you are going to follow this police man and make sure he stands up to all of the laws laid out in the traffic code! You are going to be a modern day punisher execpt you don't kill peopl (comic book reference, sorry, look it up). Then you pay the ticket. But your intentions were right there.
Sure this blog was late and kind of wandered around, but hey, at least it's here right? I didn't want to publish it on the 1st of april because it wasn't a joke. Enjoy your spring. maybe i'll be back in a couple of weeks or so. Who knows?!?
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